Beck/Smith Hollywood’s Tacky Taste Awards 2007 — 30TH ANNIVERSARY EDITION

Britney Spears

Britney Spears

After three decades of tallying up votes that have run the gamut of celebrity strangeness and bad taste, we have to say, 2007 goes down among the tackiest — at least. The competition was tremendous, we’re sorry to say. Here are the Top 10 stars deemed tackiest of 2007 by readers:

1. BRITNEY SPEARS — “She parties the night away, she loses custody of her kids, has drug test problems, crushes a guy’s feet with her car, runs red lights with kids in backseat, and looks like a sausage packed into a bikini on the VMAs, where she forgets to sing. She’s way beyond tacky,” wrote Chris C. of Van Nuys, CA. Maura H. of Cleveland was among the many who said they were sorry for Spears’ two young sons with ex-husband Kevin Federline: “If she can’t even take care of herself, how can she take care of them?” Said Jordan F. of Arlington, VA, “Tackiest? I recommend the judge who decided to take Britney’s kids from her and give them to Kevin, who’s just as messed-up.” Dylan D. of New York suggested “maybe Brad and Angelina will adopt her kids.” “It was supposed to be her big comeback, but Britney let down tons of fans with her lethargic performance at the VMA’s,” noted F.F. from South Carolina, “and let’s not forget that earlier this year, she also went into a salon and shaved her own hair off. Now, that’s tacky!”

2. SARAH SILVERMAN — “Give your Tacky award to Sarah Silverman, who has worked so hard for it!” urged Jake G., Pasadena, CA. Wrote Shari M. of Bloomfield, N.J.: “She’s dirty, nasty… a perfect example of how sleazy things have gotten on TV nowadays, like her jokes about Paris Hilton on the MTV Awards — they’re going to paint the bars of her jail cell to look like penises so she’ll be more comfortable? If that’s not tacky, what is?” “Taking swipes at Britney, no problem, but when she called Brit’s children “the most adorable little mistakes ever” on an awards show, she was way out of line! Just nasty and tacky! — Foxy C., Los Angeles, CA

3. VANESSA HUDGENS — “She’s supposed to be a role model to young kids everywhere. She had no business posing nude in photos for her boyfriend Zac — wait, I mean, ex-boyfriend Drake Bell. Wait, was it both? So hard to keep track of naked pictures, you know,” said CompuServe reader Uneak1.

4. ROSIE O’DONNELL — “I still can’t believe the on-air fight with Elizabeth Hasselbeck…I used to be a fan of Rosie, but her inflammatory rhetoric, her feuds, her conspiracy theory nonsense — she’s gone from being terrific to terribly tacky,” wrote DPix of Bakersfield, CA. Paul V. opined via the internet, “She’s a bully, she’s rude, she’s vulgar, she believes her s— don’t stink. She is tacky to the tenth power.”

5. PARIS HILTON — PceCollgrrrl wrote on the internet: “The tackiest part of the time she spent in jail was the enormous media frenzy that ensued. We didn’t need to see a one-hour special of Paris, post-jail reading her journal entries during her experience. She broke the law. She deserved to be punished, not applauded for being “brave.”

6. ALEC BALDWIN — “His out-of-control rant against his young daughter was beyond tacky. It was abusive,” complained Leslie S. of Sherman Oaks, CA Internet writer TmW2 is among those who feel that Baldwin ought to “split the tackiness award for bad celebrity father of the year with DAVID HASSELHOFF, who destroyed his image for me forever in that video where he’s drunk and hurling expletives at his teen daughter.”

7. ELLEN DEGENERES — “We love Ellen, but it was a bit much seeing her sobbing on TV over the fact that she broke some doggy adoption rules, which resulted in the adopted dog being taken back by the agency,” barked Val V. of Chattanooga, TN. “The war in Iraq, global warming, worldwide abuse against women, children killing children in schools — and Ellen breaks down over a dog she didn’t even keep for herself? Tacky set of priorities if you ask me.” — M.S. Burbank, CA.

8. DENISE RICHARDS VS. CHARLIE SHEEN — “I don’t know whether her accusations about all his sexual perversions are true or not, but I do know that both these two are putting their vicious divorce battle ahead of the welfare of their children by making such public declarations against each other. Shame on them!” wrote Kelly O. online. “Charlie Sheen announcing to the world that his ex still wants to have children with him — whether true or not — while he’s engaged to another woman proved that Sheen is tactless, shameless and clueless.” — Naomi S., Sacramento, CA

9. LINDSAY LOHAN — “Every time I think Lindsay’s going to get it together, some new story comes out — like her chasing after her assistant’s mother in her car. Pretty tacky,” wrote Shannon B. of Phoenix. Added R.H. of Houston, “After getting in trouble with the law for a DUI, she went to rehab to get help, fine. Then she ended up starting a relationship with a fellow rehabber, who was in a serious relationship at the time. Not just tacky — skanky.”

10. PAULA ABDUL — “Everything about her reality show, ‘Hey Paula,’ was tacky,” said Manuela G. of the Bronx, NY, “from her erratic behavior to her public meltdowns.”

DISHONORABLE MENTIONS: O.J. Simpson for his memorabilia robbing incident, Michael Vick for his apparent participation in dog-fighting, “The Hills” Lauren Conrad due to her sex tape scandal, Dog the Bounty Hunter for using the N-word, Nick Hogan (son of Hunk Hogan) for his street racing that finally resulted in a serious car wreck that left his best friend in a coma, Keifer Sutherland for his DUI arrest, Tim McGraw’s crotch-grabbing fans, and “you, Beck/Smith, for giving all this attention to tacky celebrities.”

Happy Holidays to you all, and may your turkeys be tasty ones!