Beck/Smith Hollywood

 Happy Thanksgiving to all, and a special thank-you to the readers who joined in with their votes and comments for our 34th Annual Tacky Taste Awards.  In a year when some of the biggest scandals in the news — from Penn State to politics — took place outside the Hollywood realm, there’s still a banquet of show business celebrity turkeys to chew on.  And heeeeere they are.

1.  Kim Kardashian & Family.  Riled up over Kim’s 72-day marriage to NBA player Kris Humphries, readers voted to bestow 1st Place, Tackiest Celebrities of the Year dishonors on the Kardashian clan.  Among the comments:

“KarTRA$Hian is KarKA$Hingin — the fake marriage down to the crappy clothes at Sears.” — Hannah L., New York, NY  

“She went from saying Kris was so nice and down to earth to saying he was only in it to climb the fame ladder practically overnight.  Of course people are suspicious. She made more than $17 million from the wedding.” — Pam R.,Canton, OH. 

“Kim Kardashian was made for your Tacky Taste Award.” — Nathan P., San Francisco, CA

Steve M. from Dallas, TX had a different take: “I think all the dimwits who watch the Kardashian family and then complain about them deserve a Tacky award.  Idiots, change the channel!”

2.  Chuck Lorre and Charlie Sheen  So many voters mentioned the “Two and a Half Men” creator and his former star together, it seemed appropriate to reunite them just this one last time in the annals of Tacky Taste.  For example: 

From Julia in AZ:  “Charlie Sheen’s year of tirades, drugs and hookers and Chuck Lorre’s repeated endcaps and on-air rebuttles have really done it for me.  I thought by now the banter would be over and bringing in Ashton would let the show stand on its own, but Chuck doesn’t seem to want to let go.  Week after week they have to rehash all of Charlie’s downfalls.  Come on, kill the show now if you are going to make it a year of Charlie-channeling.  Even Charlie seems to have learned to shut his mouth.” 

G.M. in Santa Monica, CA wrote, “Not that I’m buying Charlie Sheen’s good behavior act, but Chuck Lorre needs to get over being bitter and stop sniping at Charlie and try to improve the show, which sucks now.”  

In the opinion of witty Bernice R. of Naples, FL, “It has been a close race this year for the Tacky Taste Award.  Charlie Sheen was the star of the pack early on, but his admitting to his foolish rages took the edge off criticizing him.  Darn.  But then when all seemed lost, Kim Kardashian came along with her whirlwind romance, brain-free husband, check cashing acrobatics and surprise (not) divorce, and challenged Charlie for the lead.  I’ve got it!  How about a Tacky Couple Award? Theirs would be a match made in Hollywood heaven.  Oh, those two have got to meet, or what’s a Hollywood for?” 

3.  Arnold Schwarzenegger.  Grace H. of Burbank sums it up:  “Former governator Arnold Schwarzenneger makes Bill Clinton look like a cub scout.  First he let Maria find out the hard way that he sired a child by his housekeeper.  Then after they split up he went out in public sporting a T shirt that said, “I survived Maria 1977 – 2010.” 

And this comment from reader Linda D.:  “Arnold Schwarzenegger deserves the award for being unfaithful to his wife, family, and the state of California.  And then having the bad taste to wear an ‘I survived Maria’ t-shirt.” 

Agrees Paula G.: “It has to be the Arnold:  what he has done to Maria Shriver is so awful.  I used to like him, but now, I am not interested in seeing anything he does.  Thank goodness he’s no longer the Governor of California.” 

4.  Gerard Depardieu.  “Gerard Depardieu deserves your award, hands down, for urinating in the aisle of a plane after being told he had to wait until after takeoff to use the bathroom, causing a two-hour flight delay.  If one of us mere mortals did that, we’d be arrested.” — Ken, Tacoma, WA. 

Peggy S. of Los Angeles voted for Depardieu, adding, “I want to mention Anderson Cooper also.  It was one thing to get the giggles during his report about l’affaire Depardeiu — but then to have Depardieu on his talk show to discuss the incident, and hand out peepee bottles to everyone in the audience?  That was Tacky.  But I still love Anderson.”  

5.  Lindsay Lohan.  The troubled actress, who has been doing community service at the L.A. morgue as a result of violating her probation, drew tacky votes for “blowing chance after chance to straighten out,” as J.Y. of Bell, CA put it. 

“Lindsay Lohan gets my vote.  You know you’ve hit bottom when Heidi Fleiss gets on TV and congratulates you for posing for Playboy and says you’d make a great hooker.” — Tara K., Ohio

6.  Kate Gosselin.  “As always, the tackiest person in America is Kate Gosselin,” contends Dee W.  She explains: “From her trashy clothing to her constant bashing of the father of her children, she epitomizes the word tacky.  Her classifiying her ex as ‘mediocre’ because he prefers to work a regular job and live out of the spotlight was classic Kate.” 

“I would rather listen to nails on a chalkboard than that whiney b#@! any day.” — George F., Woodland Hills, CA

7.  Jesse James.  The reality show star got a late flurry of votes after his ex, Kat Von D, went public with her claim that he’d cheated on her with at least 19 women during their engagement.  “Wasn’t he supposed to have been treated for sex addiction after his cheating wrecked his marriage to Sandra Bullock?  Jesse, you tacky dog, you should demand your money back.” — L.Z.

8.  Courteney Cox and David Arquette.  “Their over-sharing about their sex life problems on Howard Stern’s show has tainted my feelings about them.   Really, Courteney, thought you had more class than to dispense such intimate details with gutter language.  Sad for Coco.” — Linda W., Peoria, IL

9.  Hank Williams, Jr., ESPN and “Fox and Friends.”  The singer’s remark, on “Fox and Friends,” making an analogy using President Obama and Hitler, got his iconic theme song cut from Monday Night Football after 20 years — and both sides chimed in: 

`”Hank totally got the shaft.  If you read the transcript, he never said Obama was like Hitler.  His conservative politics is what really got him ousted from MNF.  And he’s right that ‘Fox and Friends’ set him up.” — Dan H. 

On the other hand, S.B. of Long Island, NY, wrote, “Who gives a damn what Hank Williams Jr. thinks?  He’s a right-wing crackpot with no talent.  Glad to see him go.” 

10.  Brad Pitt.  “Some people continue to add insult to dumping their spouses overboard.  Brad Pitt told Dotson Rader of Parade Magazine that his life was boring when he was married to Jennifer Aniston.  Quote, “I wasn’t living an interesting life, myself.  I think that my marriage [to Jennifer Aniston] had something to do with it.”  – Grace H., Burbank, CA

Casey Bond as Chad Bradford in 'Moneyball'

Sounds like Brad Pitt has earned the eternal gratitude of baseball player cum actor Casey Bond, who’s getting his big movie break playing Chad Bradford in Pitt’s Sept. 23-debuting “Moneyball.”

“He was very accessible on the set — a truly great mentor, master of his craft,” gushes Bond, who was drafted by the San Francisco Giants and then played for three years in the minors before switching to an acting career.  “The thing I remember most that he said — after we filmed the first cut of a scene, naturally I wanted to go look at the playback.  He said, ‘Casey, don’t look at the first playback, ever.  It will screw you up every time, I promise.’  No need to go and look and start thinking too much.”

The real-life saga of Oakland A’s manger Billy Beane, who revolutionized the game with his modernized, analytical, sabermetric approach to assembling a competitive baseball team, “Moneyball” also stars Philip Seymour Hoffman, Robin Wright, Jonah Hill and Chris Pratt.  Complete with cameos by some recognizable faces in the sports world, it already boasts more verisimilitude than the average baseball flick.  “Being a former professional baseball player myself, the authenticity of this thing is beyond any baseball movie I’ve seen,” says Bond, who has been amassing credits in commercials and print ads for the likes of Nike and One-A-Day Men’s Vitamins while studying acting.

Bradford is known for his extreme submarine style pitching, which Bond says came pretty naturally to him, “but it was strange to get used to.  When he pitches — when I pitch — his knuckles almost scrape the ground.  After I read for the part, they took me out to see if I could do it,” recounts Bond, who was an outfielder in his professional career.  “After they saw I could pitch, I had a meeting with Brad Pitt.  It was more of a conversation, one person to another, more about getting to know each other than an interview.  I guess if you’re going to be on a film with someone for eight weeks, you want to find out what kind of person they are.  He was extremely down to earth.”

Once Bond (www.thecaseybond.com.) got the part, he went into training to perfect his style.  A current “Moneyball” trailer opens with Bond throwing right into the camera — a shot managed in one take, he says, with the camera safely behind a plexiglass shield, of course.

Jon Voight

Jon Voight’s shopping living quarters in the Dallas area.  He’ll be residing there while shooting is underway on Fox’s forthcoming “Lone Star” series, in which the Oscar-winning actor plays the patriarch of a powerful Texas oil family.

“I don’t really consider myself a Hollywood guy, but I’m very connected to a lot of the work and what goes on in this town, so it’s going to be a bit of a sacrifice not to be here in that sense – but the big sacrifice is, I won’t be so close to my grandchildren and Angie and my son James,” he tells us, referring, of course, to Angelina Jolie and her children with Brad Pitt, and to James Haven.

“It would be wonderful to think they could come down and visit, but I don’t know if they ever will do that.  They get so much press every time they move it becomes impossible,” he adds.  “You’d have to have a place that’s pretty secure.”

We caught up with Voight the other night at Fox’s “Lone Star” reception at the Boudoir at Coco de Ville in West Hollywood.  The smart new show, debuting this fall, is about an incredibly charming, handsome and gifted young con man – James Wolk, who not only pulls it off in the pilot, but is getting likened to George Clooney – who has built two phony lives in two different cities, complete with a wife in one and a girlfriend in the other, while bilking business people of millions.  Now he wants to go legit without losing anything, even as suspicions about him are running ever hotter.

Voight does plan to make visits back to L.A., but he knows he’ll be busy.  He says of the series, “I took a look at it, and then I talked it over with my dearest friends and we decided that it might work out.  I had done ‘24’ and it turned out to be very successful for me — the success was that I enjoyed it.

“Then I met the cast.  It doesn’t come along that often that you meet a group of people you really care for immediately, and I did I came to care about each one of these kids very much,” says Voight.  “Somehow we just all clicked and it was like it was just meant to be.”

Michelle "Bombshell" McGee Photo by Alvarado

The tackier Michelle “Bombshell” McGee turns out to be, the more it’s clear her affair with Jesse James has scored a permanent place among Hollywood’s biggest cheating scandals. Coming to light mere days after beloved American Sweetheart Sandra Bullock won her Oscar for “The Blind Side,” Bullock’s husband’s extra-marital dalliance with McGee looks worse and worse the more her heavily-tattooed bod appears all over the internet, TV and tabloids, along with her claims of 11 months of sex with James while Bullock was none the wiser. We’ve learned that she’s a fetish model who’s done girl-with-girl and Nazi photo spreads and taught her child the Nazi salute.

Jesse, you cheated on Sandra Bullock with THIS?

This mess is shocking, embarrassing, tawdry and sad – adjectives that apply again and again as we look back on the Top 10 Most Notorious Hollywood Cheating Scandals of the past 20 years:

NANNY TELLS ALL
“’He felt so lovely. We kissed and kissed for what seemed like ages. I was thinking, I cannot believe this. Jude Law is snogging me!’” That’s a breathless Daisy Wright, remembering in her diary what was going through her mind the memorable night her status changed from nanny of Jude Law’s children to playmate of the actor himself. After a night of passion, they awoke to find one of Jude’s children by the bed, crying “Daddy, daddy. I had a bad dream.” Law’s nightmare was just beginning. When his ex-wife, Sadie Frost, heard from said child about his nanny shenanigans, she fired Daisy. Daisy then took her story to Fleet Street. Steamy details of her sexcapades with Law emerged, including her description of a tryst atop a pool table. London, not to mention the rest of the world, snickered. Mind you, Law was engaged to Sienna Miller at the time. They split. But what goes around comes around — and around — in the case of Jude Law and Sienna Miller, apparently. In 2008, it was Miller’s affair with married father of four Balthazar Getty that got the headlines, along with paparazzi pics of the actress topless with Getty. Now, nearly five years after the whoops-a-Daisy imbroglio, Law and Miller are a couple again.

RUNAWAY BRIDE
In 1991, “Flatliners” leading man and leading lady. Kiefer Sutherland and Julia Roberts, planned a suitably Hollywood wedding for June. It would be a studio soundstage shebang and a swarm of stars and other power players would be on hand. Except…suddenly news broke that the wedding had been called off and, snap, Julia turned up at a hotel in Ireland with none other than Jason Patric – Kiefer’s friend! It was subsequently revealed that Julia had discovered Kiefer had been having a side relationship — with a stripper named Amanda Rice! The situation was lose-lose all around, except for the gossip media, which had a field day all summer long. Roberts landed in the hospital with the flu – for five days. She finished “Hook” on strained terms with Steven Spielberg, and the crew nicknamed her “Tinkerhell.” In recent years, Sutherland has said he holds no grudge against Roberts – “I commend Julia for seeing how young and silly we were…even as painful and as difficult as it was.” However, he still has no use for Patric. Roberts, of course, starred in another Hollywood cheating scandal a decade later when she hooked up with married cameraman Danny Moder, who split with his wife to be with Roberts. She and Moder wed in 2002 and they have three children.

BRANGELINA
“Brad & Angelina Get NAKED Together!” screamed a tabloid headline in May, 2004, while the couple was making their “Mr. & Mrs. Smith” action comedy – and his Mrs. was Jennifer Aniston. The romantic leads were making out off-camera as well as on, if you were to believe the tabs, which also reported that Aniston was going out of her mind with jealousy. Denials flew, but in Spring 2005, Aniston filed for divorce and “Brangelina” was seen vacationing on a beach in Kenya. “Team Jen” and “Team Angie” t-shirts became hot items on the internet. Jolie was, after all, the woman who had taken Billy Bob Thornton away from Laura Dern, the woman who had talked openly of her bisexuality and sex play with knives, the woman who had given her own brother a sexy-looking kiss when she won a Golden Globe. This femme fatale appeared the antithesis of girl-next-door popular Jen. The Jolie-Pitt affair still rankles in some quarters – even though Angelina and Brad are known for philanthropy and actively concerned in international relief…and even though they’re now the parents of six children. In 2008, Jolie’s comment to the New York Times essentially confirming for the first time the fact that she and Pitt had fallen in love while making “Mr. & Mrs. Smith,” was met with jeers.

WOODY AND SOON-YI
The public disgust quotient was high when news broke that 56-year-old auteur filmmaker Woody Allen was having an affair with 21-year-old Soon-Yi Previn – his de facto step-daughter, since he’d been in a relationship with her adoptive mother, Mia Farrow, for 12 years. Poor Mia had discovered the truth in a shocking way, when she came across nude photos of Soon-Yi that Woody had taken. Court battles over custody of Woody’s and Mia’s adopted son and daughter and their biological son followed – with Mia accusing Woody of inappropriate behavior with the seven-year-old daughter. “I hope you get so humiliated you commit suicide,” wrote their adopted son, Moses, in a letter to Woody that was read in court. Although his popularity plummeted, Woody has since said that Mia’s discovery of the pictures set in motion a positive turn in his life. “The heart wants what it wants,” he explained of his relationship with Soon-Yi. He married her in 1998 and they have two adopted daughters.

THE MUG SHOTS SEEN ‘ROUND THE WORLD
Hugh Grant was thrust into international stardom in 1994 with the release of “Four Weddings and a Funeral.” He and his long-time lady, the gorgeous Elizabeth Hurley, became known as a chic and witty celebrity couple. Then, in 1995, he achieved a different kind of public attention, picked up in an L.A. Vice Squad sting operation along with a Hollywood hooker who called herself Divine Brown. Their mug shots showed up everywhere, and the jokes flew. Days later, Grant turned the tide of public sentiment in his favor in a matter of minutes, when he surprisingly decided to keep a “Tonight Show” date to promote his next movie – and sat there looking like an abashed schoolboy when Jay Leno hit him with “What the hell were you thinking?!” Grant told Leno, “I think you know in life what’s a good thing to do and what’s a bad thing, and I did a bad thing. And there you have it.” He exuded a combination of possible contrition and naughty charm and provided a template for effective celebrity apologies thenceforth. He paid a $1,180 fine and did an AIDS education program, but the embarrassing scandal left him relatively unscathed. He made up with Hurley and their relationship lasted ‘til 2000.

AMERICA’S SWEETHEART STUMBLES
Meg Ryan’s fall from adored cinema sweetheart was swift and complete when her affair with Aussie bad boy Russell Crowe became public knowledge. The two hooked up while they were making 2000’s “Proof of Life” — despite the fact she had her nice little family waiting for her at home: husband Dennis Quaid and their eight-year-old son Jack. Openly traveling with Crowe, the girl from “Sleepless in Seattle” and “When Harry Met Sally” inspired disappointment and downright anger in former fans. The Crowe-Ryan affair lasted only months. She and Quaid divorced in 2001 after a nine-year marriage. In 2008, Ryan finally told InStyle that she wasn’t the first to cheat in that marriage, that “Dennis was not faithful to me for a long time, and that was very painful.” But by then her years as a Hollywood box office attraction had become fading memories.

HALLE BERRY’S HUBBY, THE SEX ADDICT
Sandra Bullock may feel a sad sort of sisterhood with Halle Berry. While Halle was in the Oscar season spotlight prior to her “Monster’s Ball” win in 2002, her then-husband Eric Benet was cheating on her. For awhile there, it had seemed Halle had gotten it right with her hunky R&B star mate. She’d grown close to his daughter and their relationship had flourished. But there had been troubles for a long time, it turned out. The revelation of Benet’s affair with singer Julia Riley led to his checking himself into Arizona’s The Meadows for sex addiction rehab. A barrage of headlines followed: Is sex addiction real? Is it a ploy of Eric’s to get back into Halle’s good graces? How prevalent is sex addiction? In 2003, the couple split for good. In 2008, when David Duchovny checked himself into rehab for a sex addiction (but not because of any affairs! His publicist insisted!) Benet told New York magazine he wished Duchovny good luck with that, but he, Eric, wasn’t really a sex addict. So then, how did he account for his behavior? “Stupid-ass mistakes,” said Benet. Yeah, they don’t have rehab for that yet.

PLUS ONE HUSBAND, MINUS ANOTHER
To say Anne Heche has a checkered romantic past is like saying Kirstie Alley’s weight has fluctuated – quite an understatement. So when Heche followers learned that she’d taken up with her “Men in Trees” leading man, the handsome James Tupper – despite both being married to others at the time – it didn’t come as a total shock A public and very bitter divorce from her cameraman-turned-realtor ex-husband Coley Laffoon ensued, including Heche calling Laffoon a lazy a—on David Letterman’s show. (Laffoon is the father of Heche’s son Homer, 8, and Tupper is daddy to her son Atlas, 1.) You may recall that Anne met Laffoon when he was doing camera on a comedy show project for her then-lover Ellen DeGeneres. Before she and Ellen got together, she was known for having broken Steve Martin’s heart Tupper would like to get married, but Heche says she likes the idea of having permanent fiancée status.

MATERIAL GIRL SPORTS YANKEE SLUGGER
The nasty Madonna/Guy Ritchie divorce included all the gossip about her relationship with New York Yankees star Alex Rodriguez — whose wife reportedly left him because of the Material Man-taker as well. Or, as Time magazine put it in July, 2008: “The relationship that appears to have helped unravel the six-year Rodriguez marriage involves no mere Vegas stripper or D-list country star. This couple is fighting about the only woman on earth who can top A-Rod in both net worth and push-ups — Madonna.” There were photos of Madge and A-Rod together, reports of their traveling to Mexico. But for all the attention and damage their relationship created, it was called an affair of the heart and spirit rather than infidelity. Curious.

YOUR CHEATIN’ HEART
The “CSI: Miami” hunk tells us that things are “finally starting to calm down and be the way the way they’re supposed to be” – more than a year after reports emerged of his and LeAnn Rimes’ relationship becoming more than professional on the set of their “Northern Lights” Lifetime movie. He was married to model Brandi Glanville, mother of their two young sons, and LeAnn was married to her one-time backup dancer Dean Sheramet. There were the predictable denials of an affair, then there were Cibrian’s and Rimes’ marital splits, then their respective divorces. Saying she felt she no longer knew Cibrian, Glanville said she told LeAnn, “You can have him.” “I think things happen for a reason,” Cibrian, now openly with Rimes, told us. “I’m just focusing on work and focusing on my family.” — Stacy Jenel Smith

Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart

The New Year — make that the New Decade — is upon us. While we can’t tell you how long the economic recovery will continue or give you a timetable for climate change, we do have our trusty celebrity crystal ball here and we’re ready to make our fearless predictions about Hollywood and its stars in 2010.

By the end of next year, people will finally catch on that “The Hills” is the worst show on television and it will be canceled … if we’re lucky.

Brad and Angelina will adopt a child from an obscure country while Madonna stands by jealously watching the media attention.

Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson will finally announce they’re a couple.

Tyler Perry will make a movie in which he’s wearing a dress.

Lady Gaga will make a movie in which she’s wearing half a dress.

Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz will bring into the world a little sister or brother to go with son Bronx Mowgli Wentz. The new baby’s name will be Brooklyn Bagheera Wentz or Manhattan Shere Khan Wentz.

2010 will be a comeback year for Dave Chappelle.

It won’t be a comeback year for Bobby Brown.

Meryl Streep will make it 16 Academy Award nominations with her “Julie & Julia” performance. Duh! She already has the record for Oscar noms with 15, three more than Katharine Hepburn and Jack Nicholson.

Jennifer Aniston and Jessica Simpson will make headlines once again for dating Mr. Wrong while John Mayer will wallow in his self-appreciation.

Tina Fey will rule the universe.

The Kardashian sisters will have started collecting alimony from some of the world’s biggest athletes.

Jane Lynch will get an armload of awards for her instant classic character, the Machiavellian, sadistic yet delightful Coach Sue on “Glee.”

Like a ticking time bomb, Lindsay Lohan will self-destruct. Oh, wait, too late.

Jillian Harris and Ed Swiderski will join the rest of “The Bachelorette” broken hearts club.

Jillian Michaels and Bob Harper will become the first TV personalities to negotiate contract extensions with bonuses on a “per pound” basis, as NBC keeps bringing in heavier and heavier contestants (coming up: a 526-pounder) to get more episodes out of each “Biggest Loser” season.

Michael Jackson’s family will find new ways to cash in on his legacy.

Amid reports of infidelity, Jessica Alba will finally realize that she cannot bank on her husband, Cash.

George Clooney will finally settle down.

Yeah right. Like that would ever happen.

New ABC News anchor Diane Sawyer will be judged on her appearance.

The countdown to Oprah’s last show will become unbearably drawn out and exhausting, and it isn’t even 2011 yet.

The countdown to Arnold Schwarzenegger’s departure from the California governor’s mansion a year from now will become unbearable — because it’s still so far away. With an eye on his future, the bodybuilding champ turned movie star turned politician will sign up to become a contestant on “Dancing With the Stars,” proving once again that ballroom dancing doesn’t make you a girlie man.

The Jonas Brothers’ fans will start to come to grips with the fact they’re growing up and moving on — Kevin got married, Nick has a solo album and his own group, and Joe is moving more into acting and being the center of dating rumors. So girls, better drink in all of the second season of the “Jonas” series this coming summer while you can.

More people will come to grips with the hard truth that when you call a television network to complain about something, you make it stronger, e.g. MTV’s “Jersey Shore.” The latter premiered to about 1.4 million viewers, but thanks to controversy over its portrayal of Italians, the viewership jumped to about 2.1 million viewers in its second week. And then there’s Adam Lambert’s American Music Awards performance.

Lambert will become the first male celebrity to land a cosmetics spokesmodel gig, hawking eyeliner.

Since he’s proven that he helps anything he emcees — the TVLand Awards, the Tonys, the Emmys — Neil Patrick Harris will be asked to host the 2010 Tiger Woods Chevron World Challenge golf tournament.

The “Ghost Hunters” on SyFy will at long last capture unequivocal proof of post-mortem activity when they stumble onto the vaporous visage of Jon Gosselin’s TV career.

— Stacy Jenel Smith and Emily-Fortune Feimster

Sarah Palin

With Thanksgiving almost upon us again, it’s time to dish those celebrity turkeys whose behavior you found hard to swallow this year — the 2008 Tacky Taste Awards, voted on by readers. Here are the Top 10 results: