Beck/Smith Hollywood

Kai Chase

A new version of Michael Jackson’s last days will be coming to light by year’s end, with the release of Fit for a King, the first cookbook from celebrity chef Kai Chase.

We were chatting with Chase about the March 18 Drawing Hope International Gala Masquerade event in Beverly Hills, for which she is providing some of her trademark cultural fusion cuisine.  (Tandoori Stuffed Chicken Breasts with Fruited Marsala Couscous, anyone?)  However, the culinary master, who has cooked for luminaries including Mary J. Blige and President Obama, was also Jackson’s personal chef, and as soon as his name comes up, the conversation shifts.  Chase makes it clear his impact on her life was profound.

She tells us, “When you read the book, you’ll see how things were different” as far as the portrayal of Jackson’s world.  “I was feeding him and his children.  He was going to rehearsals and the recording studio.  He was energized, looking good, feeling good.  I want to talk about the fun times  — the practical jokes played on me in the house, me and the kids planting gardens.  I was seeing him every day and working with him every day.  He talked to me about a lot of things, as a boss and as a friend — how to move on with your career, write books, this and that.”  However, “I was let go at a certain point,” recalls Chase.  She was back at the mansion the day Jackson died.

Since then, her list of celebrity clients has grown, and “a lot of things are really coming to the forefront right now,” notes the beautiful chef, who listens to Jackson’s “Keep the Faith” song because “it keeps me inspired and motivated for greatness.  The blessings keep pouring down.  Sometimes I think he has something to do with that, and imagine him and God high-fiving.”

Chase is also offering an at-home cooking lesson to be auctioned off at the fund-raiser for Drawing Hope, which helps survivors of rape and sexual abuse in some 150 countries.  Celebs excpected to be on hand for the event range from Garrett Morris to Kyle Massey to honoree AnnaLynne McCord of “90210.”

Conrad Murray, Michael Jackson

What will be the after-effects of Dr. Conrad Murray being found guilty of involuntary manslaughter this week?  It’s easy to assume that his precipitous fall, from being the King of Pop’s private physician to being a convict, will serve as a warning to other doctors-to-the-stars – but the impact should be broader than that. 

You might believe that Michael Jackson, as extremely troubled as he was indulged, was so many light years away from average citizens that he and his personal Dr. Feelgood have nothing to do with us.  But regular Joes and Janes do have parallels to Jackson:  We live in a culture where pharmaceuticals seem to be offered as solutions to every problem, where they’re widely accepted as Answer No. 1 to whatever ails us. 

Conrad Murray is guilty, true, but he’s a scapegoat for all over-prescribing medicos, too – and the face of a prescription drug industry that’s run rampant for decades, especially since the Food and Drug Administration decided to allow pharmaceutical companies to advertise directly to the public in 1998.   Just two years later, the Kaiser Family Foundation reported that every dollar that the pharmaceutical industry spent on advertising yielded $4.20 in drug sales.  The result: drugs hyped to the skies!  Nowhere is the absurdity of it all clearer than in the ongoing assault of hideous drug warnings foisted on the television viewing public day and night.  We’ll turn yellow, constipated and have thoughts of suicide?  Lord have mercy.

As with everything in the U.S.A., celebrities lead the way.  If they can sell handbags and cars by virtue of their glamour and panache, goodness knows they can sell drugs.  Even ones we might not need or that might not be good for us.

 It’s sickening to read the list of drugs to which Jackson was addicted and think about how they affected his body in his last months — and that this isn’t a case of speedballs or other illicit drugs such as killed stars like John Belushi and River Phoenix.  Jackson’s drugs were all legal. 

So were the drugs that took the life of Heath Ledger in 2008.  The 28-year-old died after ingesting a lethal cocktail consisting of: OxyContin; Hydrocodone (an ingredient in Vicodin); Diazepam or Valium;  Alprazolan or Xanax; Temazepam or Restoril (prescribed for  insomnia); and Doxylamine, an antihistamine over-the-counter sleep aid sold in the U.S. as Unisom.

In 2007, a combination of prescription and over-the-counter drugs killed Anna Nicole Smith.  Those included three antidepressant or anti-anxiety drugs, plus a sleep medication.

Dorothy Dandridge, Judy Garland, Marilyn Monroe, Keith Moon – they all died from overdoses of legal drugs as well.  (Clint Eastwood’s new “J. Edgar” film starring Leonardo DiCaprio shows that even the iconic FBI chief J. Edgar Hoover had some help from a Dr. Feelgood.  It’s the American way.)

In September 1979, Elvis Presley’s private physician, Dr. George Nichopoulos, was charged by the Tennessee Board of Medical Examiners with “indiscriminately prescribing 5,300 pills and vials for Elvis in the seven months before his death.” He was later acquitted. 

But not Conrad Murray.

Why might this case make more of an impact on society than other similar cases? 

Because it comes at a time when Americans may be reaching a tipping point of annoyance with the overselling of drugs – drugs many can’t afford.  It’s not the array of life-saving modern miracle medications that has people complaining, let’s be clear.  It’s the obvious excesses.  Restless legs and four-hour erections and other problems the public didn’t seem to have a decade ago tell the tale.  Doctors have volunteered that these days, they find themselves talking patients out of medications they’ve seen on TV that aren’t appropriate for them.   A public clamor for change could force advertisers to reach out to consumers in a more conscientious way – less offensive, ridiculous and manipulative.  Prescription medication shouldn’t be treated like magic candy that can make it all better. 

Which brings us back to Michael Jackson.  Sadly, he seems to have thought exactly that. 

Janet Jackson will not be involved in the Oct. 8 tribute concert to her late brother, Michael Jackson, in Cardiff, Wales due to the schedule conflicting with the trial of Dr. Conrad Murray, who is accused of manslaughter in causing Michael’s death.   She has issued a statement making it official:  ”Because of the trial, the timing of this tribute to our brother would be too difficult for me.”

Ryan Dunn MTV photo

It’s sad, but it could be that the late “Jackass” star Ryan Dunn’s greatest legacy might be as an anti-role model. The daredevil, whose Porsche is said to have been traveling between 132 and 140 miles per hour when it crashed, killing Dunn and passenger Zachary Hartwell last week, had a stunning blood alcohol content of .196, according to a preliminary toxicology report. With an estimated 11 drinks in him before he got behind the wheel, he automatically becomes the poster celebrity for what can happen to you when you drink and drive.

Indeed, Roger Ebert’s notorious tweet — “Friends don’t let Jackasses drink and drive” — over a photo of the horrific remains of that car could serve as an effective public service billboard.

Recent years have, unfortunately, brought us an phalanx of
anti-role model celebrities — who teach us by example what NOT to do.

Two years after Michael Jackson’s death of acute propofol intoxication, his doctor, Conrad Murray, is due to go to trial in September on involuntary manslaughter charges. But certainly, details of Jackson’s gargantuan prescription drug usage that set the stage for the overdose have given people pause.

The same is true of Heath Ledger, who seemed destined to become one of the greatest film actors of our time, until his life was cut short by what the New York City coroner’s office determined was an accidental overdose of  painkillers, sleeping pills and anti-anxiety drugs: oxycodone, hydrocodone, diazepam, temazepam, alprazolam, and doxylamine.

Look out, because, as the late Jeff Conaway pointed out, getting addicted to pain pills can creep up on you.

Lindsay Lohan and Charlie Sheen are just two among the current crop of celebrities who have all but destroyed their careers with wild and sometimes violent behavior — behavior that’s landed each of them behind bars more than once. Lohan and Sheen have each demonstrated how even the most prodigious talents can be thrown away. Let us hope not their lives.

Their poster would have to say something along the lines of “Here’s what excessive partying can do to you, kids.”

Anti-role model celebrities show us so many things — how NOT to divorce (e.g. Madonna and Guy Ritchie), how NOT to parent (Britney Spears), and how NOT to utilize cosmetic surgery (Joan Rivers). The idea of actually looking up to stars sometimes seems positively quaint.

Kimberly Wyatt, Paula Abdul, Travis Payne CBS photo

Paula Abdul’s new CBS “Live to Dance” competition show took a ratings tumble when it ran up against her old show, “American Idol,” in head-to-head competition last week (26.2 million viewers compared to 5.3 million) — but “Live to Dance” judge and Paula pal Travis Payne refuses to go negative about that.

“The only way to look at it is that both shows are perpetuating the arts.  Both are so specific.  There’s room for both,” insists the renowned choreographer and dancer, known for his work with Michael Jackson as well as dozens of other top names including Beyonce, Shakira, Usher, Lady Gaga, Madonna and (small world!) Jennifer Lopez.  As far as all the talk about competition between Abdul’s former and current shows?  “Great!” he declares.  “It gets people to be interested.  As long as it’s not mean-spirited, wonderful.”

But people do get mean-spirited — very — when it comes to Abdul.

Payne, who had his first professional audition with none other than Paula years ago, admits he feels protective.  “Absolutely!  But I know she’s strong and she’s smart.  She’s very aware — very aware — of all that goes on and she’s an excellent sort of mentor and a wonderful businesswoman.  And she’s thrilled to be executive producing this show, and getting to use all her talents.  You know, we spend a lot of our time lending our names and talents to someone else’s vision.   Now, for her, this is her vision.  That’s a major accomplishment.”

The fast-paced seven-week “Live to Dance” competition is in semi-finals, with its winner of  $500,000 to be determined on the Feb. 9 finale.  “We are in just a sort of constant state of excitement,” says Payne, who adds that despite being aware of “American Idol,” he’s “only had time to focus on ‘Live to Dance.’”

He feels that, among other things, the show offers “a nice alternative” to shows that trade on devastating critiques.  I think about how my parents were with me, and how instructors were with me, and I was always way better when I was in a positive, nurturing place.  That’s how Michael Jackson was — everybody must be happy, everybody must be heard.  We give it to the contestants straight, but we also say how to improve, and how to meet a different level of challenges — rather than, ‘Oh my God, that’s the worst thing I’ve seen.’”

MEANWHILE:  Payne, who “just celebrated the release of ‘This is It’ in Japan” is also “gearing up for the Michael Jackson, Immortal tour, presented by Cirque du Soliel.  We’ve just completed the casting process and are now figuring out scheduling” for the show.  He reports it will be heading out on the road this spring, and will consist of “all his music and all-new imagery, new interpretations of his famous work.  I’m pleased to be able to be part of it.”

What strange times for Janet Jackson.

The songstress has been on the scene this week for the highly-emotional preliminary hearing on an involuntary manslaughter charge against Michael Jackson’s physician, Dr. Conrad Murray.  (She has been quite vocal in blaming the doctor for her brother’s death.)  At the same time, she has her own imminent business — including planning of her soon-to-launch Number Ones, Up Close and Personal world tour.  Tickets go on sale today (1/8).

There’s also the launch of her “True You” book dealing with diet, exercise, self-image and self-esteem to contend with.  The tome hits stores Feb. 8.

And on top of that, Janet could easily find herself in this year’s Academy Awards running come Jan. 25.  Her hit “Nothing” (written and produced by her in association with Johnta Austin, Bryan-Michael Cox and Jermaine Dupri) from Tyler Perrry’s “Why Did I Get Married Too” is being buzzed by Oscar prognosticators everywhere as a good bet for a Best Song nomination.

Janet has been balancing moving on with life and dealing with the aftermath of Michael’s death for more than a year and a half now.  You may recall that “Why Did I Get Married Too” briefly shuttered production after his passing, while Janet flew to join family in L.A. for the funeral.  When she returned to the movie location, her friends on the production “decided, in unison, to give her space and respect whatever feelings she was feeling,” as Jill Scott recalled it to this column.  “If she wanted to be quiet, we’d step back.  If she wanted to talk, we’d be there for her.  I think she did find escape in her work.  She definitely did.”

Janet’s tour will definitely keep her busy — if all goes according to plan — with 35 global cities involved including Singapore on February 7th, Hong Kong on February 14th, and Taipei on February 19th.  She’s taking the unusual step of having fans determine her route by voting on her janetjackson.com web site.  In each of the 35 cities Janet will dedicate one of her number one songs to the city and she will also recognize 20 young people whose lives and work have enriched their communities in a major way.

Jon Gosselin

With Father’s Day approaching, Jon Gosselin’s involuntarily back on the sleaze news circuit with the widespread play of a leaked (by whom?) video in which he and ex-girlfriend Hailey Glassman are giggling all over their Pringles on a San Tropez hotel balcony — stoned.

Such a really awful father.

He’s now Mr. Pot Head after having been Mr. Extra-Marital Carouser and Mr. Litigation. Last year, you may recall, once he learned that TLC planned to do “Kate Plus 8” — minus Jon — he demanded through he attorneys that the show cease production immediately or face criminal charges, and barred cameras from his/their property. The cable channel answered with its own breach of contract suit, then Jon answered that. Rumors of a sex tape and cocaine abuse surfaced.   Jon brought up child labor practices in his ongoing fight with TLC.   And even as the subpoenas flew, Jon’s other ex-girlfriend, Kate Major – another Kate — got into the act, reportedly planning her own suit, claiming violation of a contract they’d written up on a napkin, calling for the former Star reporter to become Jon’s personal assistant.

Jon settled with TLC in February, freeing him to do whatever he does. Roll joints with his 23-year-old lady, or whatever.

Gosselin is not alone. This past year has been quite a vintage for really awful fathers.

Still fresh in our minds is the spectacle of Joe Jackson attempting to squeeze more money out of his late son Michael – who pointedly left him out of his will.

Although a Superior Court judge ruled that Jackson, Sr., had no standing to challenge that legal document, he pursued getting an allowance out of the estate, saying he has living expenses of $20,000 a month and no income of his own, so of course he needs the dough.   He laid plans to appeal the appointment of the estate’s executors — even as he was eyeing Michael’s children for their performing potential, noting that he’s heard seven-year-old Blanket “can really dance.”  Another generation to exploit!

This is the man Michael once said made him feel sick to his stomach, just being in the same room with him.

This is the man who answered “I’m great,” when asked how he was feeling at the BET Awards, three days after Michael’s death – and proceeded to use the occasion to tell press on the red carpet about his new record company.

This is the man shadowed by accusations of abusing Michael as a child – who said once in a BBC interview, “I never beat him. I whipped him with a switch and a belt. I never beat him. You beat someone with a stick.”

The train wreck that is Michael Lohan and daughter Lindsay’s relationship goes from worse to worse — even without those disturbing reports that he asked to see Lindsay look-alikes doing their thing in a strip joint.

He has made a name and career for himself out of commenting on Lindsay’s latest reckless activity, getting mileage out of everything from Lindsay’s partying to her (he says) prescription pill abuse.   He released tapes that disclosed her relationship with the late Heath Ledger and confirmed suspicions of her self-harm – tapes including Lindsay crying and sobbing that no one cares about her — so that (to hear him tell it) the young star would get help. That he made the tapes without his family’s knowledge and sold them says it all.   Mother Dina (not averse to exploiting Lindsay herself) jumping in to point out that the tapes weren’t current makes it worse.

Mom ‘n’ Dad meeting about Lindsay, plans for a family intervention, Michael’s feelings about her recent missed court date, her alcohol-indicating ankle bracelet — it’s all fuel for his 24-hour news cycle.   He’s cozied up to the scandal press he keeps feeding nuggets about his wayward child — a thoroughly disgusting partnership.

This is the man who served a four-year sentence in the 1980s for stock fraud and has been back behind bars on parole violation. This is the man who fought with former wife Dina throughout Lindsay’s childhood, who has been accused by her of threats, domestic violence and drug and alcohol abuse.

And now he reportedly plans to open a club in the Hamptons called…wait for it…CONTROVERSY! Ah ha ha ha.

Then we have the ridiculous Levi Johnston, showing up here, there – ‘most anywhere – to say a few disparaging words about Sarah Palin, the grandmother of his one-year-old son, Tripp.   Clearly, the 20-year-old amateur hockey player has a taste for the spotlight, including wanting to do a reality show – of his own, especially! — and showing off his nekkid body in Playgirl magazine.  Pays a lot better than training to become an electrician, which is what Levi was doing before fate and an unplanned pregnancy took a hand.

That baby mama Bristol Palin says he is “a stranger to me” now and hasn’t been around to see his baby, is no surprise.   Not to be negative – he’s young, maybe he’ll change — but the forecast for this daddy to turn into a father of merit is pretty bleak.   On Oprah’s show last fall, Palin noted that he’s taken to calling himself Rikki Hollywood, and that it’s “a bit heartbreaking to see the road he’s on right now.”

This is the man so overworking his 15 minutes of fame that he’s given Democrats and Republicans something they can agree on at long last: Levi Johnston is an embarrassment.

So this Father’s Day, if you’re fortunate enough to have a good Dad, take a moment to think the good thought for Tripp, Lindsay, the Gosselin kids and others who aren’t as lucky, and give your ol’ man a hug.

Diana Ross, Michael Jackson, 1981 American Music Awards

…Her choices for guest stars began with long-time buddy Michael Jackson.  “To me, he’s like a child of mine. ..”

February 25, 1981

Diana Ross In the Driver’s Seat

By Stacy Jenel Smith

HOLLYWOOD – As the song says, “I’m Comin’ Out.”

For the first time in her professional life, Diana Ross is sitting in the driver’s seat – and she makes it clear, “I really like that position.”

Her hotel bungalow has the look of a command post: table tops littered with coffee cups, stacks of papers and slides taken at her recent Los Angeles Forum concert, recording and video equipment, a projector and screen dominate the living room.

After a late night of watching the editing of her CBS March 2 “Diana” special – the first of her TV outings that Diana has produced herself – she walks through the morning light into the room looking wide awake and full of bubbling energy, smartly attired in an electric purple blouse and jacket with black pants tucked into studded black suede boots.

Asked about her new executive producer title, she looks toward the ceiling with a wide grin and chuckles, “Ohhh yes.  A – it’s real exciting.

“It just means I’m the one who make the decisions, that I’m responsible for whatever happens.  I feel like I’m learning a lot about TV this way.  It’s an important position.  For the last 15 years, I haven’t been in that position.  I haven’t taken the responsibility.  I felt there was a reason for this – that I’m starting to be more responsible.

“I think if you’re going to hand over control of something to someone else, you should be willing to hand it over completely.  If you’re going to complain about how they’re handling it, maybe you should be doing it yourself.”

As for Diana, “I’m taking my life and handling it.”

For the last 15 years, the singing superstar’s name has seemed inextricably linked with those of the Motown record company and of its founder – her “Henry Higgins” – Berry Gordy.  From the days when she and her fellow Supremes became the No. 2 record-selling group of the ’60s (behind The Beatles), through her first solo successes, her acclaimed acting debut in “Lady Sings the Blues,” her marriage to and divorce from Bob Silberstein, Diana has been protected, cared for and – to an ever decreasing degree – had her decisions made by Gordy’s Motown.

Now, “I’m not under contract with anyone,” she says.  And as to whether she’s re-sign with the company, she shrugs and smiles.  A beat passes.  “I don’t know.”

Diana spent her Christmas vacation working on preparations for her special.  “I went to Aspen with the kids (daughters Rhonda, 9, Tracee, 8, and Chudney, 5).  While they were skiing, I was staying in making  a lot of notes and calls.  You see, this time I had to worry about making the business deals too.”

Her new managerial outlook extended into the production of the show.  “When we were going overtime, a part of me was thinking in terms of, ‘How much is this costing?’  The executive producer was thinking in numbers.  The other part of me was thinking, ‘Isn’t it wonderful to be in a position where I can help employ all these people?’

“I took a lot of time deciding on the people I wanted to work with,” she continues, quickly ebulliently.  “See that stack of tapes over there?  I watched them all to help me decide.  I called a lot of people to ask who they thought a good director would be and Steve Binder’s name came up a lot.  He sent me a tape with some of his things and in the middle of it I saw this FACE and these TEETH coming at me.  I said, ‘Hey!  Those are my teeth!’  I hadn’t realized it, but we’d worked together years ago on the ‘Tammy’ show.  He put that on the tape to see if I’d remember.  Do you remember that show?  It was the start of rock ‘n’ roll.  The Beach Boys were on, the Rolling Stones when Mick Jagger was just starting his…(she does a silent imitation of Jagger jiggle)…thing.”

Her choices for guest stars began with long-time buddy Michael Jackson.  “To me, he’s like a child of mine.  I feel the same way about Stevie Wonder.  As soon as I found out about the special I asked Michael if he’d be on and he said yes.  He just sent me six platinum records of his, with a note that says, ‘To my inspiration.’

“I’d like the young kids in the TV audience to understand that we really do have a close relationship.  The young kids don’t know how I started them (The Jackson 5) in the business, brought them out here and that they lived with me for awhile.

“Michael and Quincy (Jones, who’s also featured on the special) and I did ‘The Wiz’ together.  Quincy also produced Michael’s latest album which is such a success.  We’re trying to figure out how Michael, Quincy and I could do an album together.  I think that’s a very good idea.  I want to push that one through.”

She’d also like to push through a film project.  “I’d love to do a movie right away.  I have three or four things in the air, but have no idea at all what I’ll be doing next.  I feel I can take the time to pick and choose something I really care about, because I have my career of recording, concerts and TV, but I’d like to do a movie soon.  ‘Tough Customers’ (in which she’d play the girlfriend of gangster Dutch Schultz) is in the works and the idea of my doing a movie about Josephine Baker is still very much alive. But you can’t just zap out a movie like in the old days.  It costs too much.”

Discussing plans of a more personal sort, Diana laughs at reports of her marriage plans to KISS singer Gene Simmons.  “No, no.  It’s not that kind of relationship between Gene and I.  He’s a very special person, but – no.

“I realized about five years ago,” she adds, “that you have to give up a lot in order to be in this business.  One of the things is privacy.  You find yourself fighting that, but it’s something people expect – to know what’s happening in your life.  I don’t mind talking about myself.  I have nothing to hide.  It’s when people will take something that’s very important and treat it without regard for its importance that I mind.  I think it’s the responsibility of the press and others to consider how important what they’re writing about really is.”

She’s thinking of her children especially, she says.  “You see so many stories about performers’ children getting so messed up by being exposed to the press, to the world.  I try to shield mine from that.  It was easier when they were younger.  Now that they’re getting bigger, they can see what’s going on – see me on TV, see the people I work with , see what it all means.  I’ve decided to send them to boarding school when they’re a little older, where they’ll have lives apart from all this.

“We have a lot of honesty – no lies.  Now and then they’ll ask me, ‘Mommy, why can’t you stay home?’  And I tell them, ‘Because I don’t want to stay home.  I love what I do and I’m not going to feel guilty about it.’

“I do know my girls will all probably go into show business.  That’s O.K.  I think it’s the best game in town.  I mean, what would I have done if I hadn’t gone into show business?”

She starts enumerating the possibilities, counting on her fingers as she goes.  “Well, I took design, so I might have designed clothes.  I went to beauty school, so I might have done your hair.  I bussed dishes for awhile.  Did you know that?  Back in Detroit I was a bus girl.  We wore little green and white dresses and nets on our hair and we couldn’t lean against the wall.”  The room chimes with her laughter at the recollection.

She continues, more seriously, that her childhood didn’t offer much exposure to showbiz, with the exception of music.  “My mother did have a job in a theater – cleaning,” she smiles.  “I remember listening to radio shows.  I was five or six when we got our first TV.  I know when TV started, the rich people got it first and it came to the ghetto a while later.”  She smiles and leans back.  “The only star I knew of to look up to was Lena Horne, and I didn’t look up to her as a movie star.  I knew her as a singing star.”

Now, countless little girls are looking up to Diana Ross, who seems to have done it all.  What’s left to conquer?

“Oh, God!  What’s so amazing is – that’s life out there!  There’s so much more for me to learn.  I’m always learning new things through my kids.  I feel my move to New York has taught me so much.  I discovered so much.  I met doctors, lawyers.  I now have girlfriends who are NOT involved with show business.

“I don’t want to get into making comparisons between New York and Los Angeles.  I love California and I’d never give it up.  But I’d gone through my divorce and I wanted to be in a place where I could be busy all the time and I moved.  I go to the theater now, and I take the kids to museums and galleries.  I met a guy who knows all about modern art.  I didn’t know anything about modern art.  I’ve known people who bought it as an investment, that’s all.  But now I’ve found out about it.”

She nods emphatically that the divorce and the move have “opened me up.”  And that they’re partly responsible for her new feelings of responsibility.

“If something’s successful, then it’s wonderful.  If not, well … Do you know the poem, ‘If’?  I always like to remember a line from that: ‘If you can treat those two imposters, success and failure, the same …’  I do the best I can, and whatever happens, try to treat it the same.  This business can sweep you away.  Look at this.”  She holds up a slide of the masses of people engulfing the Forum, with herself in the center of it all bathed in the spotlight.

“But what helps me to keep it in perspective is the fact I left that and went home to bed alone.”

Happy Thanksgiving to one and all and a big thank you to readers of this column who submitted candidates for this year’s Tacky Taste Awards.  From lofty heights to lowlifes, cheesy reality TV stars to the Nobel Prize Committee – 2009 marks possibly the most wide-ranging menu of celebrity bad taste we’ve seen in the history of this contest!   So let’s get to it:

Jon Gosselin

1.  Jon & Kate Gosselin.  The couple who rose to fame as the parents of cute twins and sextuplets – and gained infamy with their bitter split, their affairs, their ugly accusations, oversized egos, etc. were deemed tackiest by a clear majority.  As longtime reader B.B. Richmond of Naples, Florida Fla. put it:  “There could not be a Tacky Taste Award without mentioning Jon and Kate, the All-American loonies. Where did Jon and Kate get the ‘great’ idea to pimp out their kids?  ACORN?  I can envision ACORN advising them. ‘Don’t call it “child abuse,” call it a “Reality TV Show.”’ Hopefully the kids will earn enough money to pay for the best mental help money can buy.” 

Kate Gosselin

Other readers echoed her sentiments:  “The Gosselins should win in tandem,” said Carma, adding, “It’s like they had a tacky-thon to see who could embarrass themselves more.  At least Jon shows some regret for his behavior, she never apologizes for being a ‘B’ from hell!”  Diana wrote: “Kate Gosselin, for so very many things, but mostly for going on national TV and crying about how she can’t afford to feed her children in one breath, then in the next bragging about the diamond and ‘mother of pearl’ she’s going to buy (she clearly does not know what mother of pearl is).

2.  Joe Jackson.  “Joe Jackson is your walking definition of tackiness.  What could be tackier than trying to hype his new record label on the red carpet of an awards show right after Michael’s death?” asked Greg B. of Canoga Park, CA.  Savannah wrote that Jackson’s attitude seems to be: “Just because everyone knows I abused Michael doesn’t mean I’m not gonna contest the will!” 

Kanye West

3.  “Mr. Bad Attitude Kanye West, for spoiling Taylor Swift’s award moment,” as reader Margo P. put it, speaking of West jumping onstage and interrupting Swift’s acceptance speech to say that Beyonce deserved the award.  And from Jed:  “Kanye West deserves a big a** kicking for his VMA stunt.”

Carrie Prejean

4.  Dethroned Miss California Carrie Prejean.  From Jeff:  “Carrie Prejean takes the cake!  Skanky hypocrite with her holier than thou attitude, her fake boobs and her sex tape of her masturbating. Now the religious right is cutting ties with her. No one else comes close to this tackiness.”  Morgan P. of Cleveland found the humor:  “What a hoot!  She’s ready to walk off Larry King’s show over ‘inappropriate’ questions?  Larry King, the scary hard-hitting inquisitor.”

David Lettermn

5.  David Letterman.  “Ughhhh,” wrote Judy O.  “I can’t watch him anymore, thinking of him doing the dirty old man number with his female staff.” “What a nauseating man.  Never liked his mean humor, so I’m glad he’s now getting some turn-about from other comics,” said M.M.

Miley Cyrus

6.  Miley Cyrus and her daddy, Billy Ray:  “Look at her tacky clothes.  She’s turning up the skank quotient!” wrote D. Lewis of New York.  “Last year it was the bedroom magazine pic, this year pole dancing on the Teen Choice Awards” – Carol.  “…And then come the comments from her father that it’s really okay, people are reading things into that aren’t there.  Riiiiight” – J. Horwitz, Newark, N.J. 

Levi Johnston

7.  Levi Johnston, the spotlight-loving father of Sarah Palin’s grandson, and ex-boyfriend of Bristol Palin:  From Patty W.: “Levi Johnston deserves to be named Tackiest. Also Vanity Fair and Playgirl and all the media rushing to help him embarrass Sarah Palin for fun and profit.”

Martin Scorsese

8.  The Roman Polanski Defenders.  Contributor B.B. Richmond again summed up the feelings of others who expressed disgust toward those advocating in favor of director Roman Polanski’s release, more than three decades after being charged with rape and pleading guilty to unlawful sexual intercourse with a minor.  “It was treated like a ‘minor infraction’ by Hollywood beacons of morality Martin Scorsese, Woody Allen, David Lynch, Jonathan Demme and Pedro Almodovar who signed a petition to demand Polanski’s release from jail on a morals crime.  Earth to those lights, so lofty that they are out of touch:  I will tell you the same thing that Sister Mary Ann taught in fifth grade, ‘Show me your friends and I will tell you what you are.’” 

Perez Hilton

9.  Perez Hilton.  The self-proclaimed most hated Hollywood blogger on the internet drew some hate from our readers, too, for several of his exploits this year, including his feud with the Black Eyed Peas’ Will.i.am.  “I am voting for Perez Hilton (who’s famous for what again?) for saying he’d been attacked by Will.i.am when it was clearly his manager,” wrote Isaac. 

Michael Lohan

10.   Michael Lohan:  Lindsay’s father got Tacky Awards attention for releasing  embarrassing and damning tapes about his troubled daughter.  “This man has no conscience.” – L. Ramirez, Albuquerque, N.M.

 DISHONORABLE MENTIONS go to Sammy Sosa for “looking whiter and brighter” – M.P; Sarah Palin for reasons including “her endless whining” – Tracey W; Glenn Beck, for “fear-mongering that goes beyond tacky” – D.L.; and the Nobel Prize Committee, for giving President Obama the Nobel Peace Price “for doing nothing.  It sort of cheapens the prize they gave Yasser Arafat, don‘t you think?” – B.R.

That’s it for this year.  From now on, may all your turkeys be tasty ones