Tag Archives: Jon Gosselin

Really Awful Fathers in Celeb Spotlight

Jon Gosselin

With Father’s Day approaching, Jon Gosselin’s involuntarily back on the sleaze news circuit with the widespread play of a leaked (by whom?) video in which he and ex-girlfriend Hailey Glassman are giggling all over their Pringles on a San Tropez hotel balcony — stoned.

Such a really awful father.

He’s now Mr. Pot Head after having been Mr. Extra-Marital Carouser and Mr. Litigation. Last year, you may recall, once he learned that TLC planned to do “Kate Plus 8” — minus Jon — he demanded through he attorneys that the show cease production immediately or face criminal charges, and barred cameras from his/their property. The cable channel answered with its own breach of contract suit, then Jon answered that. Rumors of a sex tape and cocaine abuse surfaced.   Jon brought up child labor practices in his ongoing fight with TLC.   And even as the subpoenas flew, Jon’s other ex-girlfriend, Kate Major – another Kate — got into the act, reportedly planning her own suit, claiming violation of a contract they’d written up on a napkin, calling for the former Star reporter to become Jon’s personal assistant.

Jon settled with TLC in February, freeing him to do whatever he does. Roll joints with his 23-year-old lady, or whatever.

Gosselin is not alone. This past year has been quite a vintage for really awful fathers.

Still fresh in our minds is the spectacle of Joe Jackson attempting to squeeze more money out of his late son Michael – who pointedly left him out of his will.

Although a Superior Court judge ruled that Jackson, Sr., had no standing to challenge that legal document, he pursued getting an allowance out of the estate, saying he has living expenses of $20,000 a month and no income of his own, so of course he needs the dough.   He laid plans to appeal the appointment of the estate’s executors — even as he was eyeing Michael’s children for their performing potential, noting that he’s heard seven-year-old Blanket “can really dance.”  Another generation to exploit!

This is the man Michael once said made him feel sick to his stomach, just being in the same room with him.

This is the man who answered “I’m great,” when asked how he was feeling at the BET Awards, three days after Michael’s death – and proceeded to use the occasion to tell press on the red carpet about his new record company.

This is the man shadowed by accusations of abusing Michael as a child – who said once in a BBC interview, “I never beat him. I whipped him with a switch and a belt. I never beat him. You beat someone with a stick.”

The train wreck that is Michael Lohan and daughter Lindsay’s relationship goes from worse to worse — even without those disturbing reports that he asked to see Lindsay look-alikes doing their thing in a strip joint.

He has made a name and career for himself out of commenting on Lindsay’s latest reckless activity, getting mileage out of everything from Lindsay’s partying to her (he says) prescription pill abuse.   He released tapes that disclosed her relationship with the late Heath Ledger and confirmed suspicions of her self-harm – tapes including Lindsay crying and sobbing that no one cares about her — so that (to hear him tell it) the young star would get help. That he made the tapes without his family’s knowledge and sold them says it all.   Mother Dina (not averse to exploiting Lindsay herself) jumping in to point out that the tapes weren’t current makes it worse.

Mom ‘n’ Dad meeting about Lindsay, plans for a family intervention, Michael’s feelings about her recent missed court date, her alcohol-indicating ankle bracelet — it’s all fuel for his 24-hour news cycle.   He’s cozied up to the scandal press he keeps feeding nuggets about his wayward child — a thoroughly disgusting partnership.

This is the man who served a four-year sentence in the 1980s for stock fraud and has been back behind bars on parole violation. This is the man who fought with former wife Dina throughout Lindsay’s childhood, who has been accused by her of threats, domestic violence and drug and alcohol abuse.

And now he reportedly plans to open a club in the Hamptons called…wait for it…CONTROVERSY! Ah ha ha ha.

Then we have the ridiculous Levi Johnston, showing up here, there – ‘most anywhere – to say a few disparaging words about Sarah Palin, the grandmother of his one-year-old son, Tripp.   Clearly, the 20-year-old amateur hockey player has a taste for the spotlight, including wanting to do a reality show – of his own, especially! — and showing off his nekkid body in Playgirl magazine.  Pays a lot better than training to become an electrician, which is what Levi was doing before fate and an unplanned pregnancy took a hand.

That baby mama Bristol Palin says he is “a stranger to me” now and hasn’t been around to see his baby, is no surprise.   Not to be negative – he’s young, maybe he’ll change — but the forecast for this daddy to turn into a father of merit is pretty bleak.   On Oprah’s show last fall, Palin noted that he’s taken to calling himself Rikki Hollywood, and that it’s “a bit heartbreaking to see the road he’s on right now.”

This is the man so overworking his 15 minutes of fame that he’s given Democrats and Republicans something they can agree on at long last: Levi Johnston is an embarrassment.

So this Father’s Day, if you’re fortunate enough to have a good Dad, take a moment to think the good thought for Tripp, Lindsay, the Gosselin kids and others who aren’t as lucky, and give your ol’ man a hug.

How to Be as Sorry as a Celebrity

Jon Gosselin

by Stacy Jenel Smith

Jon Gosselin agrees with the rest of us:  he is a jerk.

The man whose former girlfriend Hailey Glassman was inspired by him to coin the term ‘mantrum,’ popped up at the West Side Jewish Center in New York last fall to issue his mea culpa to Rabbi Shmuley Boteach before a crowd of 150.

Humiliating his soon-to-be-ex-wife and the mother of his eight children, Kate Gosselin, by publicly carrying on relationships with three different women while they were still married, he said, ‘was a huge mistake, because if she would’ve done that to me, I would have been extremely pissed off.  Not because our relationship is over, it’s almost like a stab in the back.  And now that I think about it, it was a very wrong thing to do. I definitely regret it.’

Ha, now that he thinks about it.

The ‘Jon and Kate Plus 8’ baby daddy also said that ‘Half the stuff I’ve done, if I look at my moral compass, I shouldn’t have done.  I know that but I did it anyway.  It’s like fame canceled out conviction.’

He’s told his kids he’s sorry for not being there.  He wants to apologize to Kate in private.  And there it is — another celebrity apologia complete.

It’s practically become a new art form — or at least a public relations extension course possibility:  How to do the ‘I’m sorry’ circuit to make everything all better after screwing things up.  Learn to craft those heartfelt words that will get you or your client off the hook.   Here are 10 methods employed by the Sorry Celebrity pros:

David Letterman

1.  Deflect attacks by making self-deprecating remarks, especially if they’re funny.  David Letterman, who came clean about his sexual relationships with female staffers during his grand jury testimony about an alleged extortion attempt against him, acknowledged on his show that his behavior had hurt his wife ‘horribly.’   Then he added, ‘Right now, I would give anything to be hiking on the Appalachian Trail.  I got in the car this morning — and the navigation lady wasn’t speaking to me.’  Talking about the autumn weather, Letterman added that he’d spent the weekend ‘raking my hate mail….And it’s cold, too.  I mean chilly outside my house, chilly inside my house.’

Kanye West

2.  Get emotional.  Did you see Kanye West apologizing for disrupting Taylor Swift’s MTV Video Music Awards acceptance speech on the premiere installment of Jay Leno’s prime time show?   You ended up feeling sorry for HIM.  Kanye’s an enormously gifted man, but he’s making himself more widely known for these awards show outbursts than his performing.   ‘I feel like Ben Stiller in ‘Meet the Parents’ when he messed up everything and Robert De Niro asked him to leave,’ he wrote on his blog.  ‘That was Taylor’s moment and I had no right in any way to take it from her. I am truly sorry.’  (So he didn’t learn after pulling similar shenanigans over Gretchen Wilson’s American Music Awards win, or Justice vs Simian’s at the MTV Europe Music Awards?) When his written statements didn’t cut it, he went on with Leno, who got him all choked up by asking what his mom would have said.

3.  Join in with the crowd and say things about yourself that everyone else is saying.  ‘There is no excuse, nor should there be any tolerance, for anyone who thinks or expresses any kind of anti-Semitic remark.’  Yeah!  You tell ’em, Mel Gibson.  In the long written apology following his slur-infected diatribe upon being arrested on a DUI charge in 2006, the star also acknowledged, ‘I am a public person, and when I say something, either articulated and thought out, or blurted out in a moment of insanity, my words carry weight in the public arena. As a result, I must assume personal responsibility for my words and apologize directly to those who have been hurt and offended by those words.’  True, but despite the fact the incident was expunged from his record in October after Mel successfully completed the terms of his three-year probation, lots of people aren’t forgetting.

4.  Claim insanity.  Yes, you read above that Mel Gibson invoked the I-word as part of his good guy image reclamation efforts.  Others have rolled out the ol’ temporary insanity ploy as well.  Michael Richards, acting as if he was personally baffled over his hurling of the N-word during an onstage tirade at L.A.’s Laugh Factory in ’06, was quoted saying, ‘I’m not racist — that’s what’s so insane about this.’

5.  Blame the media.  This was part of Sharon Stone’s approach when she offended China by with her statement, on the red carpet at the Cannes Film Festival, that maybe the deadly earthquake that had just taken place there was karma for the country’s ill treatment of Tibet.  ‘Yes, I misspoke,’ one of her statements acknowledged.  ‘I could not be more regretful of that mistake.  It was unintentional.  I apologize, those words were never meant to be hurtful to anyone, they were an accident of my distraction and a product of news sensationalism.’  Well, she’s just lucky she wasn’t dealing with the Chinese media.  The country’s official Xinhua News Agency’s response to her ‘accident’ was to declare Sharon the ‘public enemy of all mankind.’  They don’t kid around.

6.  Say it’s all about your art.  When Christian Bale went on the Kevin and Bean show on  L.A.’s KROQ FM radio station to apologize for his (recorded and widely replayed) profanity-laden tirade against a ‘Terminator’ crew member last year, he said his freak out was due to the intense nature of his craft.   He was in the midst of playing John Connor trying to save the world, okay?  Who wouldn’t be uptight if someone got into their @#!$ eye line?   Nevertheless, Bale (who made up with the crew guy) gets points for appealing self-effacement, saying, ‘Feel free to make fun of me at my expense. I deserve it completely.’

7.  Blame youthful inexperience.  When teen star Miley Cyrus showed up looking like a modern day Lolita in Vanity Fair in 2008, her Disney Channel reps were quick to issue a statement saying ‘that a situation was created to deliberately manipulate a 15-year-old in order to sell magazines.’   ‘Course, Annie Liebovitz had nothing to do with those provocative pics Miley took of herself that got onto the internet around the same time.  Miley herself asked fans’ forgiveness, saying in a statement that she hoped they ‘understand that along the way I am going to make mistakes and I am not perfect.’

8.  Go into rehab or therapy.  It not only says, ‘I’m sorry,’ but also that it was, kind of not your fault, because of your addiction to alcohol, drugs, gambling or what have you.  Gibson and Richards did it.  Kanye’s been talking about it.  And after it became public that David Duchovny was having his own real-life sex addiction problem that threatened his marriage, the ‘Californication’ star went into rehab for that.

10.  Call on God.  When serious trouble calls for serious remedies, you have to go all-out.   With fans reeling from reports that Chris Brown had been charged with two felonies — assault with force likely to produce great bodily injury and making criminal threats — against then-girlfriend Rihanna last year, every base of showing remorse had to be covered, including religion.  In his public apology in August, the hip-hop star stated, ‘I have done a lot of soul searching over the past several months. I’ve talked with my minister and my mother and I’ve spent a lot of time trying to understand what happened and why… As many of you know, I grew up in a home where there was domestic violence. And I saw first-hand what uncontrolled rage can do. I’ve sought and continue to seek help to ensure that what occurred in February can never happen again…I can only ask and pray that you forgive me please.’

Beck/Smith Hollywood Tacky Taste Awards 2009

Happy Thanksgiving to one and all and a big thank you to readers of this column who submitted candidates for this year’s Tacky Taste Awards.  From lofty heights to lowlifes, cheesy reality TV stars to the Nobel Prize Committee – 2009 marks possibly the most wide-ranging menu of celebrity bad taste we’ve seen in the history of this contest!   So let’s get to it:

Jon Gosselin

Jon Gosselin

1.  Jon & Kate Gosselin.  The couple who rose to fame as the parents of cute twins and sextuplets – and gained infamy with their bitter split, their affairs, their ugly accusations, oversized egos, etc. were deemed tackiest by a clear majority.  As longtime reader B.B. Richmond of Naples, Florida Fla. put it:  “There could not be a Tacky Taste Award without mentioning Jon and Kate, the All-American loonies. Where did Jon and Kate get the ‘great’ idea to pimp out their kids?  ACORN?  I can envision ACORN advising them. ‘Don’t call it “child abuse,” call it a “Reality TV Show.”’ Hopefully the kids will earn enough money to pay for the best mental help money can buy.” 

Kate Gosselin

Kate Gosselin

Other readers echoed her sentiments:  “The Gosselins should win in tandem,” said Carma, adding, “It’s like they had a tacky-thon to see who could embarrass themselves more.  At least Jon shows some regret for his behavior, she never apologizes for being a ‘B’ from hell!”  Diana wrote: “Kate Gosselin, for so very many things, but mostly for going on national TV and crying about how she can’t afford to feed her children in one breath, then in the next bragging about the diamond and ‘mother of pearl’ she’s going to buy (she clearly does not know what mother of pearl is).

joe-jackson2.  Joe Jackson.  “Joe Jackson is your walking definition of tackiness.  What could be tackier than trying to hype his new record label on the red carpet of an awards show right after Michael’s death?” asked Greg B. of Canoga Park, CA.  Savannah wrote that Jackson’s attitude seems to be: “Just because everyone knows I abused Michael doesn’t mean I’m not gonna contest the will!” 

Kanye West

Kanye West

3.  “Mr. Bad Attitude Kanye West, for spoiling Taylor Swift’s award moment,” as reader Margo P. put it, speaking of West jumping onstage and interrupting Swift’s acceptance speech to say that Beyonce deserved the award.  And from Jed:  “Kanye West deserves a big a** kicking for his VMA stunt.”

 

Carrie Prejean

Carrie Prejean

4.  Dethroned Miss California Carrie Prejean.  From Jeff:  “Carrie Prejean takes the cake!  Skanky hypocrite with her holier than thou attitude, her fake boobs and her sex tape of her masturbating. Now the religious right is cutting ties with her. No one else comes close to this tackiness.”  Morgan P. of Cleveland found the humor:  “What a hoot!  She’s ready to walk off Larry King’s show over ‘inappropriate’ questions?  Larry King, the scary hard-hitting inquisitor.”

David Lettermn

David Lettermn

5.  David Letterman.  “Ughhhh,” wrote Judy O.  “I can’t watch him anymore, thinking of him doing the dirty old man number with his female staff.” “What a nauseating man.  Never liked his mean humor, so I’m glad he’s now getting some turn-about from other comics,” said M.M.

 

Miley Cyrus

Miley Cyrus

 

6.  Miley Cyrus and her daddy, Billy Ray:  “Look at her tacky clothes.  She’s turning up the skank quotient!” wrote D. Lewis of New York.  “Last year it was the bedroom magazine pic, this year pole dancing on the Teen Choice Awards” – Carol.  “…And then come the comments from her father that it’s really okay, people are reading things into that aren’t there.  Riiiiight” – J. Horwitz, Newark, N.J. 

Levi Johnston

Levi Johnston

7.  Levi Johnston, the spotlight-loving father of Sarah Palin’s grandson, and ex-boyfriend of Bristol Palin:  From Patty W.: “Levi Johnston deserves to be named Tackiest. Also Vanity Fair and Playgirl and all the media rushing to help him embarrass Sarah Palin for fun and profit.”

 

Martin Scorsese

Martin Scorsese

 

8.  The Roman Polanski Defenders.  Contributor B.B. Richmond again summed up the feelings of others who expressed disgust toward those advocating in favor of director Roman Polanski’s release, more than three decades after being charged with rape and pleading guilty to unlawful sexual intercourse with a minor.  “It was treated like a ‘minor infraction’ by Hollywood beacons of morality Martin Scorsese, Woody Allen, David Lynch, Jonathan Demme and Pedro Almodovar who signed a petition to demand Polanski’s release from jail on a morals crime.  Earth to those lights, so lofty that they are out of touch:  I will tell you the same thing that Sister Mary Ann taught in fifth grade, ‘Show me your friends and I will tell you what you are.’” 

Perez Hilton

Perez Hilton

9.  Perez Hilton.  The self-proclaimed most hated Hollywood blogger on the internet drew some hate from our readers, too, for several of his exploits this year, including his feud with the Black Eyed Peas’ Will.i.am.  “I am voting for Perez Hilton (who’s famous for what again?) for saying he’d been attacked by Will.i.am when it was clearly his manager,” wrote Isaac. 

Michael Lohan

Michael Lohan

10.   Michael Lohan:  Lindsay’s father got Tacky Awards attention for releasing  embarrassing and damning tapes about his troubled daughter.  “This man has no conscience.” – L. Ramirez, Albuquerque, N.M.

 DISHONORABLE MENTIONS go to Sammy Sosa for “looking whiter and brighter” – M.P; Sarah Palin for reasons including “her endless whining” – Tracey W; Glenn Beck, for “fear-mongering that goes beyond tacky” – D.L.; and the Nobel Prize Committee, for giving President Obama the Nobel Peace Price “for doing nothing.  It sort of cheapens the prize they gave Yasser Arafat, don‘t you think?” – B.R.

That’s it for this year.  From now on, may all your turkeys be tasty ones