Tag Archives: Madonna

‘AMERICAN IDOL’ AND POP STAR FEUDS – WHO IS THE CATTIEST OF THEM ALL?

idol panelInteresting how reports that “American Idol” was considering a judge change mid-season — with replacements for both Mariah Carey and Nicki Minaj — have surfaced just as the May 16 finale of “Idol” nears.  Let’s face it, the purported diva feud between the icon and the upstart is the most interesting thing about “Idol” this year.  It’s so interesting, former judge Steven Tyler publicly doubted its authenticity.  “Of course — are you kidding?!” he said, when asked if he thought the cat fight was more publicity ploy than organic venomous hostility.

Well, we see his point, but we’re thinking the organic venomous hostility is probably valid.  To recap:  Reports of friction between Mariah and Nicki date back to 2010, when the two were paired in their “Up Out My Face” music video and Minaj was said to have disrespected the superstar, whom she has dubbed “her $#@ing highness.” Exciting video of the two tangling over an “Idol” contestant went viral last fall.

When Nicki complained about Mariah and Randy Jackson making comments about pop musicians, Mariah snapped back with “I’m sorry, it’s just that that’s what I do, Nicki.  So when I’m making comments, I’m trying to help her, as opposed to just talk about her outfit.”

“Let me continue to speak,” Nicki said, to which Mariah responded, “Of course, you always do. Go ahead.”

The exchange got hotter, ending when Minaj tossed her seat behind her and cried “…Maybe I should just get off the $#@!ing panel!…” and Carey sniped back, “That was my move … I was gonna do that the next time she bagged on me.”  And Minaj stormed off the set in a cloud of explitives.

Carey later told Barbara Walters on “The View” that Minaj had made a comment that she’d have shot the $#@! if she’d had a gun.  She hired extra security.  Minaj pointed out on Twitter that no cameras or microphones caught her supposed gun comment — “say no to violence.”

So the idea was to bring back popular judge Jennifer Lopez?  When it comes to pop diva cat fights, J.Lo knows how to deal. Consider her on-again, off-again tiff with Madonna, which dates back to a 1998 Movieline interview.  Lopez soundly dissed Madonna, Gwyneth Paltrow, Winona Ryder, and Salma Hayek.  She called herself a better actress than Madge:  “Do I think she’s a great actress? No. Acting is what I do.”

Madonna got back at Lopez at Donatella Versace’s millennial New Year’s Eve dinner party in Miami. Reportedly, Lopez was shunned by the Material Mom and her posse, which included gal pal Gwyneth Paltrow. Lopez arrived an hour and a half late at the South Beach mansion. As Versace got up to greet Lopez, Madonna purportedly announced, “Dinner’s over now.” Her entourage followed her as she left the room.

More recently, of course, Madonna’s been feuding with Lady Gaga, whom she has accused of excessive emulation, shall we say, calling Gaga’s “Born This Way” “reductive” of her own “Express Yourself” 80’s song.  She performed a mash-up of her and Gaga’s hits in Tel Aviv last year to make her point.  Then Elton John jumped into the mix, complaining on an Australian TV show about Madonna’s “horrible” treatment of Gaga — and adding that Madonna’s career is over and that she looks like a “fairground stripper.”

Now, there’s a guy who knows how to do a verbal slice.

Not that Elton hasn’t been sliced himself.  For instance, there’s his dog fight with fellow rockasaurus Rod Stewart.  Rod unloaded on several of his peers in Britain’s Radio Times magazine a few years back. He called Elton “Sharon” and said he should “lose some timber.”

Rod also complained that he’d been unfairly criticized for dating a younger woman, especially when nobody criticized Paul McCartney for marrying a woman half his age. The difference, he reportedly said, was that McCartney got a knighthood. “I don’t know why I haven’t got any honor. I do my bit for charity.”

He also complained that he’d been passed over for Grammys in favor of Sting. Said Rod, “The sun shines out his arse…Mr. Serious who helps the Indians.”

A few days later, Sting fired back, “I think he deserves [a Grammy], I really do. I’m thinking of sending him one of mine.”

Yep, Steven Tyler is right about the attention-grabbing value of pop stars sniping at each other.  He’s in the mix himself, after all.  Recall he criticized Minaj’s judging ability, saying “If it was Bob Dylan, Nicki Minaj would have had him sent to the cornfield! Whereas, if it was Bob Dylan with us, we would have brought the best of him out, as we did with Phillip Phillips.”

Of course, her answer was to accuse him of racism.  Huh?

She responded on Twitter: “That’s a racist comment. You assume that I wouldn’t have liked Bob Dylan??? why? black? rapper? what?”

Tyler then went on a Canadian talk show and apologized, and added that “I am the last thing on this planet as far as being a racist. I don’t know where she got that out of me saying I’m not sure how she would’ve judged Bob Dylan.”

No word on all this from Bob Dylan.  Yet.

 

While Feud Rumors Flare, Here is Our Madonna Vs. Gaga Handicapper

Lady Gaga

Madonna

Madonna, back in the Superstar spotlight with her “W.E.” film and her date to perform at the Super Bowl, finally addressed the matter of her self-described biggest fan, Lady Gaga. 

Of the homage to Madonna’s “Express Yourself” that is intrinsic to Gaga’s “Born This Way,” she told ABC’s Cynthia McFadden it “feels reductive.” As in reduced, abridged, less than.  She also said “I can’t really be annoyed by it…because obviously, I’ve influenced her.” 

Obviously indeed.  Where does the line fall between being influenced by someone and plain old copying them?  Grace Jones, another Gaga influence, was quoted in the U.K. saying, “I’ve seen some things she’s worn that I’ve worn, and that does kind of p— me off.”  But it’s Madonna, more than other celeb, who keeps getting the Gaga déjà vu.  Acknowledging that both ladies’ talents are far beyond those of more run-of-the mill stars, we decided to run a comparison check:

 Madonna, nee Madonna Louise Ciccione
Vital Statistics:
Birthplace: Bay City, Michigan
Age: 53
Height: 5′ 4½”

 Lady Gaga, nee Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta
Vital Statistics:
Birthplace: New York City
Age: 25
Height: 5’1”

 Madonna record-holding: The Top Selling female recording artist of all time, according to the Guinness Book of World Records, with more than 300 million records sold world-wide.

 Lady Gaga record-holding:  First music artist to get a billion viral views on You Tube; Most Followers of anyone on Twitter — 13 million – according to 2012 edition of Guinness Book of World Records.  

 Madonna, Structure:  Flab-free perfect muscular dancer’s body, and toned yoga arms 
Gaga, Structure:  Flab-free almost androgynous-looking body with bones apparent 

 Madonna, watch it with those things:  Cone bras
Gaga, watch it with those things:  Machine gun bras

 Madonna, ancestry:  Italian and French Canadian
Gaga, Ancestry: Italian and French Canadian

Madonna, outrageously eye-catching in: “Erotica” book S&M gear, “Sex” book nudity including nudity hitchhiking; topless with black leather, whips in a stable evoke bestiality in a W photo spread; male drag and more.
Gaga, outrageously eye-catching in: “Alejandro” video S&M gear, meat dress, plastic bubble dress, Muppet dress, antlers, horns, no pants, male drag, lobster hats, dozens of other wacky performance art-ish outfits.

 Madonna, Family:  One of eight children of an automobile design engineer father, she lost her mom to breast cancer when she was a young child.  The traumatic life event scarred and strengthened her.
Lady Gaga, Family:  Elder of two sisters.  Her father Joseph is an internet entrepreneur, mother worked in telecommunications.  Resists description of childhood as “affluent,” but it was at least comfortable. 

 Madonna, Coming of Age:  Dropped out of the University of Michigan, where she attended on a dance scholarship, and headed to New York City on her own to make it as a performer with $35 in her pocket.  “The bravest thing I’d ever done.”  She worked at Dunkin’ Donuts until her dance gigs supported her, eventually getting into the music scene, singing, playing drums and guitar in her earliest bands.
Lady Gaga, Coming of Age:  Dropped out of NYU, where she was a musical theater student at the Tisch School on early acceptance (age 17).  A pianist from age 4 and song writer from age 13, she went and got her own apartment in the City (her father agreed to pay the rent for a year) to make it as a performer.  Before she hit it big, she says burlesque dancing was her No. 1 source of income.

 Madonna, Religious Background: Had a strict Catholic upbringing. Now she strongly supports the Jewish related Kabbalah faith.
Gaga, Religious Background: Grew up in the Roman Catholic faith, attended the Convent of the Sacred Heart private all-girls school on Manhattans Upper East Side.

 Madge, Provoking the Church: In the “Like a Prayer” video, she danced in front of burning crosses and it was so controversial that she lost her endorsement with Pepsi. Ongoing tweaks, such as her “Immaculate Collection” compilation album.  More recently, upset the church leaders by performing a song during her concerts while hanging from a cross.
Gaga, Provoking the Church:  Her “Alejandro” video with Gaga sucking on rosary beads and wearing a nun’s habit in scenes suggesting S&M and group sex led to Katy Perry’s Tweet: “Using blasphemy as entertainment is as cheap as a comedian telling a fart joke.”  Her “Judas” song caused the Catholic League for Religious and Civil Rights to accuse her of blasphemy, too. 

 Relationship status, Madonna:  Twice divorced (Sean Penn, Guy Ritchie), son Rocco with Ritchie, daughter Lourdes with Carlos Leon.  She’s been linked to choreographer Brahim Rachiki and studly male model Jesus Luz in recent years.
Relationship status, Gaga:  Single, boyfriend of six months is handsome actor and model Taylor Kinney

 Madonna and girls:  She made headlines by deep kissing Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera at the VMA awards.
Gaga and girls:  Proclaims her bisexuality.

 Madonna influences: The Supremes, Martha Graham, Karen Carpenter, Led Zeppelin, Rudolf Nureyev
Gaga influences: Madonna, David Bowie, Freddie Mercury, Andy Warhol, Grace Jones, Yoko Ono

Madonna, Quote:  “People think being a star is about being fabulous, having your picture taken all the time, going to parties in limousines, having everyone worship and adore you, being rich, rich, rich… …having it all. And you know what? They’re absolutely right.”
Gaga, Quote:  “I’ve made it my goal to revolutionize pop music. The last revolution was launched by Madonna 25 years ago.”

 

Madonna the Donut Girl? A Labor Day Look at Stars’ Pre-Fame Jobs

Madonna photo by David Shankbone

By Emily-Fortune Feimster

They may be making the big bucks now — but it wasn’t that long ago that these super stars were at the bottom of the barrel.

P.  Diddy, one of the most well-known money makers of his time, started his career working for free. That’s right!  He was an intern for the now-defunct Uptown Records and did everything from washing cars to fetching coffee. This bad boy worked his way up to being a dancer in Father MC’s video “Treat Them Like They Want to be Treated” while attending the prestigious Howard University, majoring in Business.  He now owns his own record label and is worth over $300 million.   Guess working for free really pays off!

The Material Girl Madonna worked at a Dunkin Donuts in New York City’s Times Square before becoming an international pop icon.  Donuts anyone? Having a whopping IQ of 140, Madonna also won a scholarship to the University of Michigan for excellent grades and studied modern dance and drama for 3 semesters.

Singer Elvis Costello was another closet smarty pants and wears his trademark glasses because in a former incarnation he strained his eyes working as a computer programmer.

But no lowly beginner is as surprising as Tom Cruise, who at the age of 14 attended a Franciscan seminary for one year  while thinking of becoming a priest.  Katie Holmes must be glad that didn’t work out.   In high school, he also had a brief stint as a paper boy for the Louisville Courier-Journal.

Funny lady Ellen DeGeneres had a variety of jobs as a house painter, an oyster shucker in New Orleans, a vacuum cleaner saleswoman, and a paralegal.

Whoopi Goldberg also worked hard for the money. Before her stardom, she applied makeup to corpses in a funeral parlor, and worked as a bricklayer and a bank teller.

Suave secret agent 007 Sean Connery can relate — having earned a living polishing coffins.  Kind of creepy!

Danny DeVito preferred to work with the living and was a qualified hairdresser (or stylist as they like to say).  He was trained at the Wilfred Academy of Hair and Beauty in NYC before snagging a role in “Taxi.”

Mariah Carey tried her hand at beauty school but didn’t make the cut and dropped out after only one day on the job.  She claims to have held several waitressing jobs and said she got fired from them all. Is anyone surprised? I didn’t think so.

Another actor claiming to have been let go is former “Cheers” star Woody Harrelson who said he had 17 odd jobs in one year and was fired from all of them.  Maybe legalizing pot is not as good of an idea as he thought?

Hottie tottie Brad Pitt has no doubt had his fair share of odd jobs — his most infamous being a limousine driver in which he chauffeured strippers between bachelor parties, but only when he wasn’t delivering refrigerators.  He also dressed up as a chicken on the street corner to advertise for the fast food chain “El Pollo Loco.”

His former wife Jennifer Aniston worked as a waitress in New York but that’s not as exciting.

“Titanic” megastar Kate Winslet used to work in a north London deli.

Ok, that’s not exciting either, but off-the-wall Rob Schneider washed dishes in an ice cream parlor before making it onto “Saturday Night Live.”

And get this — before getting his own TV show, comedian Jerry Seinfeld sold light bulbs over the telephone. Kind of crazy, huh?

That’s not all.   Esteemed actress Helen Mirren worked at an amusement park in Southend as a “blagger” – employed to attract punters to the rides — and Sylvester Stallone earned his rent by tending the lion cages at the Central Park Zoo.

Calista Flockhart and Lucy Liu made some extra dough by getting physical as aerobics instructors while director Steven Spielberg earned some money whitewashing fruit trees.

Hawaii native Bette Midler is all too familiar with fruit as well having once worked at a pineapple processing plant.

So don’t feel bad about your day job.  You never know where life will lead you!

Celebrity Rant Comedy Booming Thanks to Gibson, Baldwin, etc.

Mel Gibson

At least Mel Gibson’s making some people happy.  With every new rant tape release, there’s been a new crop of comedy bits on TV, radio, internet and, well, most  anywhere people are being funny.  Even Arnold Schwarzenegger got into the act, with the AP reporting that the California Governor told a group of utility commissioners in Sacramento that it looks as though BP has capped the oil leak in the Gulf of Mexico, but “no one has figured out how to contain Mel Gibson.”  The fake Anger Management classes that have been spliced together featuring Gibson, Christian Bale and Alec Baldwin in full tilt fury are a newer twist to the half dozen or so Gibson- Bale-Baldwin phony phone calls out there.

All of which should serve as a cautionary note to celebrities everywhere:  these days, if you’re recorded while screaming, it will never, ever go away.  And you could find yourself in bad company, too.  Just ask Kanye West, Michael Richards, Will Arnett, Glenn Beck, Lily Tomlin, Seth Green and Matt Damon, who are among the regulars in Celebrity Rant mashups on You Tube.

Too bad no one was around with a recorder when Paris Hilton had a temper tantrum in the middle of a restaurant while dining with Pam Anderson – because no one was reading the menu to her highness.

Or when Russell Crowe was so bent out of shape over his Manhattan hotel room phone not working, he ripped it out of the wall, went downstairs and hurled it at the concierge.

Or when Madonna went into a rage on the set of a Britney Spears video in which she co-starred, because her costume didn’t fit.  If only that tape were available.

ON A DIFFERENT NOTE:  Hayley Hasselhoff is looking forward to showing off the musical side of her performing abilities when the 16-year-old and her 20-year-old sister, Taylor, and their father, David, unveil their family reality show on A&E in November.  She notes that she and Taylor “have a band together, Bella Vida, and the show will show us in the process of making our album and stuff.”  That, of course, is in addition to their tabloid-ready personal lives.  The pretty blond actress and model of ABC Family’s “Huge” has grown used to deflecting unwanted attention and jibes from media, she lets us know.  “Why let someone bring you down when it doesn’t have to happen?  My dad always says, ‘Let them do what they need to do and stay focused on what you need to do.’”

CAUGHT CHEATING: Bullock-James-‘Bombshell’ Joins Roster of Hollywood’s Most Notorious Cheating Scandals

Michelle "Bombshell" McGee Photo by Alvarado

The tackier Michelle “Bombshell” McGee turns out to be, the more it’s clear her affair with Jesse James has scored a permanent place among Hollywood’s biggest cheating scandals. Coming to light mere days after beloved American Sweetheart Sandra Bullock won her Oscar for “The Blind Side,” Bullock’s husband’s extra-marital dalliance with McGee looks worse and worse the more her heavily-tattooed bod appears all over the internet, TV and tabloids, along with her claims of 11 months of sex with James while Bullock was none the wiser. We’ve learned that she’s a fetish model who’s done girl-with-girl and Nazi photo spreads and taught her child the Nazi salute.

Jesse, you cheated on Sandra Bullock with THIS?

This mess is shocking, embarrassing, tawdry and sad – adjectives that apply again and again as we look back on the Top 10 Most Notorious Hollywood Cheating Scandals of the past 20 years:

NANNY TELLS ALL
“’He felt so lovely. We kissed and kissed for what seemed like ages. I was thinking, I cannot believe this. Jude Law is snogging me!’” That’s a breathless Daisy Wright, remembering in her diary what was going through her mind the memorable night her status changed from nanny of Jude Law’s children to playmate of the actor himself. After a night of passion, they awoke to find one of Jude’s children by the bed, crying “Daddy, daddy. I had a bad dream.” Law’s nightmare was just beginning. When his ex-wife, Sadie Frost, heard from said child about his nanny shenanigans, she fired Daisy. Daisy then took her story to Fleet Street. Steamy details of her sexcapades with Law emerged, including her description of a tryst atop a pool table. London, not to mention the rest of the world, snickered. Mind you, Law was engaged to Sienna Miller at the time. They split. But what goes around comes around — and around — in the case of Jude Law and Sienna Miller, apparently. In 2008, it was Miller’s affair with married father of four Balthazar Getty that got the headlines, along with paparazzi pics of the actress topless with Getty. Now, nearly five years after the whoops-a-Daisy imbroglio, Law and Miller are a couple again.

RUNAWAY BRIDE
In 1991, “Flatliners” leading man and leading lady. Kiefer Sutherland and Julia Roberts, planned a suitably Hollywood wedding for June. It would be a studio soundstage shebang and a swarm of stars and other power players would be on hand. Except…suddenly news broke that the wedding had been called off and, snap, Julia turned up at a hotel in Ireland with none other than Jason Patric – Kiefer’s friend! It was subsequently revealed that Julia had discovered Kiefer had been having a side relationship — with a stripper named Amanda Rice! The situation was lose-lose all around, except for the gossip media, which had a field day all summer long. Roberts landed in the hospital with the flu – for five days. She finished “Hook” on strained terms with Steven Spielberg, and the crew nicknamed her “Tinkerhell.” In recent years, Sutherland has said he holds no grudge against Roberts – “I commend Julia for seeing how young and silly we were…even as painful and as difficult as it was.” However, he still has no use for Patric. Roberts, of course, starred in another Hollywood cheating scandal a decade later when she hooked up with married cameraman Danny Moder, who split with his wife to be with Roberts. She and Moder wed in 2002 and they have three children.

BRANGELINA
“Brad & Angelina Get NAKED Together!” screamed a tabloid headline in May, 2004, while the couple was making their “Mr. & Mrs. Smith” action comedy – and his Mrs. was Jennifer Aniston. The romantic leads were making out off-camera as well as on, if you were to believe the tabs, which also reported that Aniston was going out of her mind with jealousy. Denials flew, but in Spring 2005, Aniston filed for divorce and “Brangelina” was seen vacationing on a beach in Kenya. “Team Jen” and “Team Angie” t-shirts became hot items on the internet. Jolie was, after all, the woman who had taken Billy Bob Thornton away from Laura Dern, the woman who had talked openly of her bisexuality and sex play with knives, the woman who had given her own brother a sexy-looking kiss when she won a Golden Globe. This femme fatale appeared the antithesis of girl-next-door popular Jen. The Jolie-Pitt affair still rankles in some quarters – even though Angelina and Brad are known for philanthropy and actively concerned in international relief…and even though they’re now the parents of six children. In 2008, Jolie’s comment to the New York Times essentially confirming for the first time the fact that she and Pitt had fallen in love while making “Mr. & Mrs. Smith,” was met with jeers.

WOODY AND SOON-YI
The public disgust quotient was high when news broke that 56-year-old auteur filmmaker Woody Allen was having an affair with 21-year-old Soon-Yi Previn – his de facto step-daughter, since he’d been in a relationship with her adoptive mother, Mia Farrow, for 12 years. Poor Mia had discovered the truth in a shocking way, when she came across nude photos of Soon-Yi that Woody had taken. Court battles over custody of Woody’s and Mia’s adopted son and daughter and their biological son followed – with Mia accusing Woody of inappropriate behavior with the seven-year-old daughter. “I hope you get so humiliated you commit suicide,” wrote their adopted son, Moses, in a letter to Woody that was read in court. Although his popularity plummeted, Woody has since said that Mia’s discovery of the pictures set in motion a positive turn in his life. “The heart wants what it wants,” he explained of his relationship with Soon-Yi. He married her in 1998 and they have two adopted daughters.

THE MUG SHOTS SEEN ‘ROUND THE WORLD
Hugh Grant was thrust into international stardom in 1994 with the release of “Four Weddings and a Funeral.” He and his long-time lady, the gorgeous Elizabeth Hurley, became known as a chic and witty celebrity couple. Then, in 1995, he achieved a different kind of public attention, picked up in an L.A. Vice Squad sting operation along with a Hollywood hooker who called herself Divine Brown. Their mug shots showed up everywhere, and the jokes flew. Days later, Grant turned the tide of public sentiment in his favor in a matter of minutes, when he surprisingly decided to keep a “Tonight Show” date to promote his next movie – and sat there looking like an abashed schoolboy when Jay Leno hit him with “What the hell were you thinking?!” Grant told Leno, “I think you know in life what’s a good thing to do and what’s a bad thing, and I did a bad thing. And there you have it.” He exuded a combination of possible contrition and naughty charm and provided a template for effective celebrity apologies thenceforth. He paid a $1,180 fine and did an AIDS education program, but the embarrassing scandal left him relatively unscathed. He made up with Hurley and their relationship lasted ‘til 2000.

AMERICA’S SWEETHEART STUMBLES
Meg Ryan’s fall from adored cinema sweetheart was swift and complete when her affair with Aussie bad boy Russell Crowe became public knowledge. The two hooked up while they were making 2000’s “Proof of Life” — despite the fact she had her nice little family waiting for her at home: husband Dennis Quaid and their eight-year-old son Jack. Openly traveling with Crowe, the girl from “Sleepless in Seattle” and “When Harry Met Sally” inspired disappointment and downright anger in former fans. The Crowe-Ryan affair lasted only months. She and Quaid divorced in 2001 after a nine-year marriage. In 2008, Ryan finally told InStyle that she wasn’t the first to cheat in that marriage, that “Dennis was not faithful to me for a long time, and that was very painful.” But by then her years as a Hollywood box office attraction had become fading memories.

HALLE BERRY’S HUBBY, THE SEX ADDICT
Sandra Bullock may feel a sad sort of sisterhood with Halle Berry. While Halle was in the Oscar season spotlight prior to her “Monster’s Ball” win in 2002, her then-husband Eric Benet was cheating on her. For awhile there, it had seemed Halle had gotten it right with her hunky R&B star mate. She’d grown close to his daughter and their relationship had flourished. But there had been troubles for a long time, it turned out. The revelation of Benet’s affair with singer Julia Riley led to his checking himself into Arizona’s The Meadows for sex addiction rehab. A barrage of headlines followed: Is sex addiction real? Is it a ploy of Eric’s to get back into Halle’s good graces? How prevalent is sex addiction? In 2003, the couple split for good. In 2008, when David Duchovny checked himself into rehab for a sex addiction (but not because of any affairs! His publicist insisted!) Benet told New York magazine he wished Duchovny good luck with that, but he, Eric, wasn’t really a sex addict. So then, how did he account for his behavior? “Stupid-ass mistakes,” said Benet. Yeah, they don’t have rehab for that yet.

PLUS ONE HUSBAND, MINUS ANOTHER
To say Anne Heche has a checkered romantic past is like saying Kirstie Alley’s weight has fluctuated – quite an understatement. So when Heche followers learned that she’d taken up with her “Men in Trees” leading man, the handsome James Tupper – despite both being married to others at the time – it didn’t come as a total shock A public and very bitter divorce from her cameraman-turned-realtor ex-husband Coley Laffoon ensued, including Heche calling Laffoon a lazy a—on David Letterman’s show. (Laffoon is the father of Heche’s son Homer, 8, and Tupper is daddy to her son Atlas, 1.) You may recall that Anne met Laffoon when he was doing camera on a comedy show project for her then-lover Ellen DeGeneres. Before she and Ellen got together, she was known for having broken Steve Martin’s heart Tupper would like to get married, but Heche says she likes the idea of having permanent fiancée status.

MATERIAL GIRL SPORTS YANKEE SLUGGER
The nasty Madonna/Guy Ritchie divorce included all the gossip about her relationship with New York Yankees star Alex Rodriguez — whose wife reportedly left him because of the Material Man-taker as well. Or, as Time magazine put it in July, 2008: “The relationship that appears to have helped unravel the six-year Rodriguez marriage involves no mere Vegas stripper or D-list country star. This couple is fighting about the only woman on earth who can top A-Rod in both net worth and push-ups — Madonna.” There were photos of Madge and A-Rod together, reports of their traveling to Mexico. But for all the attention and damage their relationship created, it was called an affair of the heart and spirit rather than infidelity. Curious.

YOUR CHEATIN’ HEART
The “CSI: Miami” hunk tells us that things are “finally starting to calm down and be the way the way they’re supposed to be” – more than a year after reports emerged of his and LeAnn Rimes’ relationship becoming more than professional on the set of their “Northern Lights” Lifetime movie. He was married to model Brandi Glanville, mother of their two young sons, and LeAnn was married to her one-time backup dancer Dean Sheramet. There were the predictable denials of an affair, then there were Cibrian’s and Rimes’ marital splits, then their respective divorces. Saying she felt she no longer knew Cibrian, Glanville said she told LeAnn, “You can have him.” “I think things happen for a reason,” Cibrian, now openly with Rimes, told us. “I’m just focusing on work and focusing on my family.” — Stacy Jenel Smith