Tag Archives: Madonna

Beck/Smith Hollywood’s Fearless Predictions for Tinsel Town in 2010

Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart

Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart

The New Year — make that the New Decade — is upon us. While we can’t tell you how long the economic recovery will continue or give you a timetable for climate change, we do have our trusty celebrity crystal ball here and we’re ready to make our fearless predictions about Hollywood and its stars in 2010.

By the end of next year, people will finally catch on that “The Hills” is the worst show on television and it will be canceled … if we’re lucky.

Brad and Angelina will adopt a child from an obscure country while Madonna stands by jealously watching the media attention.

Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson will finally announce they’re a couple.

Tyler Perry will make a movie in which he’s wearing a dress.

Lady Gaga will make a movie in which she’s wearing half a dress.

Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz will bring into the world a little sister or brother to go with son Bronx Mowgli Wentz. The new baby’s name will be Brooklyn Bagheera Wentz or Manhattan Shere Khan Wentz.

2010 will be a comeback year for Dave Chappelle.

It won’t be a comeback year for Bobby Brown.

Meryl Streep will make it 16 Academy Award nominations with her “Julie & Julia” performance. Duh! She already has the record for Oscar noms with 15, three more than Katharine Hepburn and Jack Nicholson.

Jennifer Aniston and Jessica Simpson will make headlines once again for dating Mr. Wrong while John Mayer will wallow in his self-appreciation.

Tina Fey will rule the universe.

The Kardashian sisters will have started collecting alimony from some of the world’s biggest athletes.

Jane Lynch will get an armload of awards for her instant classic character, the Machiavellian, sadistic yet delightful Coach Sue on “Glee.”

Like a ticking time bomb, Lindsay Lohan will self-destruct. Oh, wait, too late.

Jillian Harris and Ed Swiderski will join the rest of “The Bachelorette” broken hearts club.

Jillian Michaels and Bob Harper will become the first TV personalities to negotiate contract extensions with bonuses on a “per pound” basis, as NBC keeps bringing in heavier and heavier contestants (coming up: a 526-pounder) to get more episodes out of each “Biggest Loser” season.

Michael Jackson’s family will find new ways to cash in on his legacy.

Amid reports of infidelity, Jessica Alba will finally realize that she cannot bank on her husband, Cash.

George Clooney will finally settle down.

Yeah right. Like that would ever happen.

New ABC News anchor Diane Sawyer will be judged on her appearance.

The countdown to Oprah’s last show will become unbearably drawn out and exhausting, and it isn’t even 2011 yet.

The countdown to Arnold Schwarzenegger’s departure from the California governor’s mansion a year from now will become unbearable — because it’s still so far away. With an eye on his future, the bodybuilding champ turned movie star turned politician will sign up to become a contestant on “Dancing With the Stars,” proving once again that ballroom dancing doesn’t make you a girlie man.

The Jonas Brothers’ fans will start to come to grips with the fact they’re growing up and moving on — Kevin got married, Nick has a solo album and his own group, and Joe is moving more into acting and being the center of dating rumors. So girls, better drink in all of the second season of the “Jonas” series this coming summer while you can.

More people will come to grips with the hard truth that when you call a television network to complain about something, you make it stronger, e.g. MTV’s “Jersey Shore.” The latter premiered to about 1.4 million viewers, but thanks to controversy over its portrayal of Italians, the viewership jumped to about 2.1 million viewers in its second week. And then there’s Adam Lambert’s American Music Awards performance.

Lambert will become the first male celebrity to land a cosmetics spokesmodel gig, hawking eyeliner.

Since he’s proven that he helps anything he emcees — the TVLand Awards, the Tonys, the Emmys — Neil Patrick Harris will be asked to host the 2010 Tiger Woods Chevron World Challenge golf tournament.

The “Ghost Hunters” on SyFy will at long last capture unequivocal proof of post-mortem activity when they stumble onto the vaporous visage of Jon Gosselin’s TV career.

— Stacy Jenel Smith and Emily-Fortune Feimster

Beck/Smith Hollywood Tacky Taste Awards 2008

Sarah Palin

Sarah Palin

With Thanksgiving almost upon us again, it’s time to dish those celebrity turkeys whose behavior you found hard to swallow this year — the 2008 Tacky Taste Awards, voted on by readers. Here are the Top 10 results:

1. Sarah Palin. The former VP candidate may not have won on Nov. 4, but she won here, proving a lightning rod for tacky votes — with correspondence both condemning and defending her. “I have a big problem with Sarah Palin’s $150,000 wardrobe. So much for being for the working class,” wrote AlleeC via email. Grace H. of Burbank, Calif., wrote, “I second the nomination for Sarah Palin’s wardrobe and everything else Sarah Palin — such as her look-at-me-I’m-pregnant-and-single teenage daughter.”

But on the other hand, after we indicated in our column that the Alaska governor was drawing Tacky votes, a storm of letters came in on her behalf. Such as: “I think you two should be listed as tacky. How many times do you have to be told that Gov. Sarah Palin did not pick out the clothing, it was the RNC. She couldn’t move without the news media and photographers being on her trail, and yet how many photos did we see showing her in the exclusive stores?” wrote Martha J. of Chattanooga, Tenn. “What about the cost of Joe Biden’s botox and hair transplants?” mused Blake123 from the Internet. And then there were those, like KrisL of San Bernardino, Calif., who were disgusted by the triviality of it all: “Forget the economy, Iraq, global warming and health care. Let’s talk about her clothes! Now, that’s tacky.”

2. Madonna and Guy Ritchie. The ugly Madonna/Guy Ritchie divorce and how public they have been about dissing each other got readers’ attention. “He said she was like cuddling up to a piece of gristle, and at a concert she said her song ‘Miles Away’ was dedicated to the emotionally retarded, which people believed she was talking about him. Maybe they’re each right, but why to they have to go out and tell the world? After all, they picked each other,” wrote F.F. of Raleigh, N.C. PandagirlDeb emailed, “Divorce really sucks for the kids, and all the sniping in public doesn’t help.” “Her affair with Alex Rodriguez adds another tacky chapter to her slutty, tacky life story,” said Tony from Phoenix, Ariz.

3. Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt. Angelina Jolie’s comment to the New York Times alluding to the fact that she and Brad Pitt fell in love while making “Mr. & Mrs. Smith” rankled more than a few. “So now the truth pops out. Whatever happened to her holier-than-thou statements that her mom was cheated on, so she’d never break up a marriage?” asked reader Jon S.

 

from Bloomfield, N.J. Sean-D emailed, “Why do people always rush to attack Jolie as if she was the sole culprit in this story, with Pitt getting a free pass? It ain’t right.” And then there are those who are just tired of the couple in general. As G.H. of Burbank put it, “I’m sick of Brangelina having kids every time they turn around and reading about them every time they go to the toilet.” 

4. Miley Cyrus and Billy Ray Cyrus. You didn’t forget her bare-in-bed Lolita-esque Vanity Fair pose. “Her daddy is to blame,” declared Ellen of Orlando, Fla. D.G. of Denver felt, “The whole thing with the two of them posing more like a couple than father and daughter was ewwwwwww, sleazy & tacky!! It’s sickening, the way he’s riding her coattails to refresh his career, at any cost.” “I used to really like her, but now I can’t stand her and her huge ego. Go Selena and Demi!” added SamanthaHC on the Internet.

5. Balthazar Getty and Sienna Miller. “What were they thinking, making out with her nearly nude on a beach with paparazzi around? Not only was he married, he’s got four kids. It doesn’t get any tackier,” claimed Ann S., over the Internet. “She acts like a slut and then sues paparazzi over the fact she is a tramp. Sad.” — Dale C., Las Vegas. “Wowza. She doesn’t seem to like wearing tops. She must get a lot of chest colds.” — A.I., Newark

6. Mariah Carey. “Reading about her demanding a private jet, a $15,000 a night penthouse suite and a Michelin-starred chef to appear on the World Music Awards made my blood boil. This kind of outrageous diva behavior was bad enough before, but now that so many people are suffering economically, losing their jobs, unable to pay for their kids’ needs, it’s completely disgusting.” — Nora B., St. Louis, Mo.

7. Lynn Spears. “To exploit your daughter’s personal life to sell your book is beyond tacky. And it’s supposed to be ‘inspirational’ on top of that.” — Bernice, Yonkers, N.Y.

8. Russell Brand, for making fun of the Jonas Brothers’ chastity promise rings on the Video Music Awards. “Even Paris Hilton thought he went too far.” — C.S., Denver

9. Lindsay Lohan. “She is so trashy and tacky, and this incident with her fighting and screaming obscenities at her girlfriend, Samantha Ronson, in a London nightclub is par for the course. Anger management rehab?” — Jay M., Northridge, Calif.

10. John Mayer. “Even though John Mayer and Jennifer Aniston got back together, I thought it was tacky how he kept talking to the press about their breakup. I can’t believe she took him back after that!” — E.F., via email.

And, that’s it for this year. Wishing you all a warm and peaceful holiday, and may all your turkeys be tasty ones!

With reports by Emily Feimster.

To find out more about Marilyn Beck and Stacy Jenel Smith and read their past columns, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

COPYRIGHT 2008 MARILYN BECK AND STACY JENEL SMITH

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